Alright, so I was going to the University of Illinois at the time, and my family was having some problems. I had the option of either staying in Illinois, going to a wonderful school with all my friends (plus I had tons of other family too), or transfer to a Florida school and be closer to my parents so I could see them on holidays. I chose my family. I will always choose my family. They love me and I love them. That is love. That will last forever. Remember... love is about sharing. Don't be an incomplete-type of fool.... build your life... share your life... but never give your life away... we are small, but worth more... enjoy...
I’ve slipped into a dimension
Where my existence seems to want to fade away.
The person I thought I was has left me behind
And has gone off to hide once more under an unknown object
That I, of course, must discover once more.
Meaningful things and meaningful people are all
Stepping two steps backwards leaving me alone to face
This new path or turn back and join my previous self.
Never knowing who I could or should be.
Strange arms pull me from the south,
While familiar hands tug me to the north.
Unheard or spoken lips whisper in my ears
From both west and east to discover the earth for the first time
And see if those places really do exist.
And inside me a howl barks in my mind
To fly above the clouds or run until the ground gives way,
But I stand here confused about my position or purpose.
Or do I still have to find them?
Everything I touch turns to gold
And everything I pass and leave behind me turns to ash
And the wind blows it away from my memory.
Did it ever exist?
And still I stand motionless with my running thoughts.
Do I step forward to see all the unseen
Or do I turn around to warm recognizable arms to be who I am now?
6 comments:
“The person I thought I was has left me behind” this line reminds me of myself in a lot of ways. I would always think that I knew exactly who I was and who I wanted to be and suddenly, out of nowhere, I would change completely. I always felt so betrayed by my own personality. Change is a rough thing and this line describes it well, like something has abandoned you, the person you were has left you. It reminds me of losing a friend, that friend you thought you knew so well but in reality is someone completely different.
The tone of this poem is confused. You don’t know who you are anymore. Your clueless as to what you should do or where you should go. You are questioning as well, “Did it ever exist? And still I stand motionless with my running thoughts. Do I step forward to see all the unseen /Or do I turn around to warm recognizable arms to be who I am now?” You ask questions repeatedly because you are lost in search of your destiny. Should you stay the way you are, be who you were, or change and become something new?
“Everything I touch turns to gold /And everything I pass and leave behind me turns to ash /And the wind blows it away from my memory”, this is an example of metaphor. It compares moving forward and starting new things to gold, a rich mineral, the past and things he leaves behind him to ash, the product of something being burned, and the change of life to wind blowing away the past. “Meaningful things and meaningful people are all /Stepping two steps backwards leaving me alone to face /This new path or turn back and join my previous self.”, is an idiom. The people from his life are not actually stepping back and leaving him alone. There isn’t an actual path before the author just a choice.
I don’t think this poem was the best you have done but I do like it. It wasn’t quite as clear and descriptive as other poems you have written. I like the subject of the poem, making a life decision to decide whom you will be. I also liked some of the metaphors you used. “To fly above the clouds or run until the ground gives way”, sounded so beautiful and descriptive to me. “or run until the ground gives way”, I don’t know why but I loved that, the way it sounded to me drew me in.
“Everything I touch turns to gold, and everything I pass and leave behind me turns to ash.” This line of the poem touched me in a way that I can’t describe. It’s something that I can relate to because sometimes that feeling of a new beginning comes to you. I think the poet meant to express the feeling that one gets when a new beginning lies ahead and everything in the past is forgotten. This line made me think of the time when I entered middle school. I had recently moved and all my friends from elementary would go to the same school, except me. I felt like I had the opportunity to meet new friends, create new adventures and memories and start on a whole new slate. My past would turn into ashes that I would keep but they would no longer feel whole again.
The tone of the poem is a sort of confusion. The poet seems to be torn between to decisions that he must make. “Strange arms pull me from the south, while familiar hands tug me to the north.” This line shows how two different decisions tear the poet apart and how he is confused and does not know which path to take. Familiarity and curiosity breaks him in two but in the end the poet must make a decision.
“Everything I touch turns to gold.” This line is a good example of a hyperbole. Someone can’t actually turn objects into gold by merely touching them (unless of course your name is King Midas). The poet expresses the way a new start feels and how it lies ahead. “Everything I pass and leave behind me turns to ash.” This line is another example of a hyperbole because when you leave something behind or pass by something, these objects cant actually turn into ash. The poet expresses the way that his past seems to disappear but not completely leave. When something is burned, ashes are formed but even these little ashes are still part of what once existed. Even though the poet’s past is diminished or pushed back, it will always be there, even if its small like ashes.
I did like the poem because it is something I believe everyone can relate to. Everyone is torn between two decisions that can even shape the rest of your life. Everyone is scared to start new beginnings and would much rather stay in a comfort zone with people that you’re comfortable with. I agree with addycted2syn when he states that this hasn’t been your best poem. Even though I did enjoy the poem and I did relate to it, I don’t think there was a strong enough connection that I felt while reading the poem. It is interesting because I believe everyone is afraid to start new. When you start a new school, butterflies engulf your stomach and nervousness clouds your mind. You would rather be with people you know and love. Nice job and keep up the good work.
Escape
"Do I step forward to see all the unseen
Or do I turn around to warm recognizable arms to be who I am now?"
These lines remind me of how I'm feeling when I'm trying to decide if I should go to Florida State or not? Do I go into this world on my own trying to survive far away from home? This thought is always going through my mind when I think about college. The tone of this poem seems to be bewildered or confused. The aurthor is constanly questioning himself and doesn't know what to do. The whole poem is nothing but a big question asking "Do I go? Or stay?" I like this poem because it's different from the rest. A lot of your poems talk about romance and emotions which I love. They're very interesting and deep but this poem is actually a real life situation that many people have to face. However, I do agree with addycted2syn when she says that this poem isn't your best. Don't get me wrong all of your poems are fantasic and this is no exception but I believe this poem makes people say "wow" when most of your others make people say "wow!"
"And inside me a howl barks in my mind
To fly above the clouds or run until the ground gives way,"
This seems to me like you just want to brake away, escape and leave everything and not even have to decide.
"Unheard or spoken lips whisper in my ears"
This is a metaphor because it's not actually someone whipering to you, it's your inner thoughts going back and forth not knowing what to do. Great poem I hope you made the right choice.
“Escape”
“Do I step forward to see all the unseen
Or do I turn around to warm recognizable arms to be who I am now?”
Those two lines summarized the whole poem; should he leave his comfort zone, like Mauricio said, or stay where he has been for most of the time? Personally, I have to make an important decision related to my education. Should I stay at my high school or go somewhere else next year? When one is faced with decisions, especially if they are meaningful, one comes to reality and sees that life isn’t so simple. Questions fill the person’s mind: should I stay? Should I move (“step forward to see all the unseen”)? What will happen if I go? What are the pros and cons of my options? If you let others know about what is going on, you might get many different advices and then you have to figure out what is most convenient to you and your loved ones (don’t forget about them; family is one of the most important things we have in this turbulent world). I think that is what you meant when you wrote, “Unheard or spoken lips whisper in my ears/ From both west and east to discover the earth for the first time.”
Uncertainty is the tone of the poem. That is clearly showed in these four lines: “But I stand here confused about my position or purpose. Or do I still have to find them? And the wind blows it away from my memory. Did it ever exist?” Everyone has doubts some time or another. The goal is to find the right answer and not regret your decision. Unfortunately, the poet has not made up his mind at that moment.
Two lines I found interesting were, “The person I thought I was has left me behind/ And has gone off to hide once more under an unknown object.” A person cannot leave himself since he is only one person. The line is referring to his thoughts and personality being tangled up and “leaving” him since he doesn’t know what to do and can’t think clearly, which is as if they have hidden somewhere he can’t find them (personification).
I thought the poem was interesting and it was a nice twist from the love poems. Numerous people can relate to it due to the fact we are all forced to make choices daily. Sometimes it will be easy to choose and your life won’t be changed drastically, but others will include serious thinking. I agree with Mauricio when he wrote that we would rather be with people we know and love. For most of us it is challenging to start over again once we are settled and that’s why we don’t want to leave the friendly people we know. However, we shouldn’t be afraid to try new things since we never know what we will find or who we’ll meet.
The person i thought i was has left me behind and has gone off to hide once more under an unknown object". i think this line in the poem touched me the most because it really seems like it reflects a person who is scared and confused about making a decision and considering that i has a young teenager would be making that decision soon. The tone of the poem seems to be a person who is not confident in themselves in there decision that is important. So i would say this poem is very realistic because has humans we are faced with different types of challenges everyday and this person is no different.
"Strange arms pull me from the south,
While familiar hands tug me to the north". i think although people are faced with these decisions everyday the writer thinks they are alone and tries to find comfort from other people but that does not help .And inside me a howl barks in my mind
"To fly above the clouds or run until the ground gives way" i really do agree with Sabrina it seems at that point in the poem that you are trying to avoid this decision you have to make but at the end you realize that running away is not the answer. I though it was a good sense of irony at the end when you said And still I stand motionless with my running thoughts.I think that was very creative. I really love this poem and the message that the writer is sending to the public about he difficulties on making decisions
“Escape”
“I’ve slipped into a dimension
Where my existence seems to want to fade away.” The first line of this poem is rather sad. It just reeks with depression, almost as if deep down you feel you no longer belong to be here on this planet. The line is definitely well written but is kind of sad. The tone of this poem is very reflective, its definitely written by somebody going through a change and is rather. confused about what’s happening next. The lines “This new path or turn back and join my previous self Never knowing who I could or should be.” Shows exactly what I’m talking about, when you say this new path, it’s a metaphor for the new choice you have made in your life. The line also deals with the fact that you don’t know what the right thing to do is, you could be making a mistake in the life you are choosing, or maybe your correcting your mistakes. One clear example of figurative language is “Everything I touch turns to gold
And everything I pass and leave behind me turns to ash”. There are two metaphors in this, the first states that everything you touch turns to gold. Now there’s two ways to analyze this, you can either say that the gold represents wealth and that you’re succeeding in what you are doing. Or you could believe that with gold being everything, it loses its value, and everything becomes the same. This is interesting, however I’m much more interested in the second metaphor, it states that everything you pass and leave turns to ash. This is great because I happen to agree with this 100 percent. When you stop to think about it, the things that meant the most to you two, three, or even just last year are gone or at the very least in the back of your mind. You have moved on and forgotten about it, it may have started as gold but now, all you’re left with is ashes. To be honest in the beginning I simply wasn’t feeling this poem, but as I kept on reading it began to capture me, the middle of the poem is most definitely its strong point and you bring in a lot of good imagery and metaphors. Over all I would say this poem is a success. I agree with Mauricio when he says that the poem has a kind of confusing tone, not to say that it itself is confusing but to say that the writer is confused. I agree when he says that everyone can relate to it, I know I can and I know that everyone goes through hard times and feels as though they’ve made a mistake.
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