Your Lips
When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.
When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;
dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary.
When I cry for love
I cry for you,
your lips;
salvation.
When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.
I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue,
sweet holy water.
Blissful fountain,
eternal stream, I
am your
grateful
valley.
When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.
When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;
dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary.
When I cry for love
I cry for you,
your lips;
salvation.
When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.
I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue,
sweet holy water.
Blissful fountain,
eternal stream, I
am your
grateful
valley.
20 comments:
“Your Lips”
“When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.”
This line displays the intensity of these kisses that the poet and their lover share. The river flowing in the poet’s veins is a metaphor for the blood flow that is accelerated when the heart rate rises.
The tone of the poem appears to be excited, appreciative, and also exaggerative.
“When I cry for love
I cry for you,
your lips;
salvation.”
This is a metaphor comparing the poet’s lover to salvation and that their love saves them and they cannot live without it or they will cry out.
“When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.”
This is a hyperbole saying that the kisses can heal wounds and end sorrow. A kiss from a young lady might make one feel a little better, but not enough to heal physical wounds. There is also a minor metaphor here, where sorrow evaporates similar to how water does when left out in the sun.
“I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue,
sweet holy water.”
This is a metaphor, comparing kisses from this particular person to holy water. In the catholic faith, infants are baptized or bathed in holy water and this symbolizes a cleansing of the spirit. Perhaps the poet feels as if this kiss is also capable of cleansing spirits.
Blissful fountain,
eternal stream, I
am your
grateful
valley.
Here, the author mentions his gratitude and also says that the “stream” is eternal, therefore the poet’s love will never diminish. This is the point where I realized that the entire poem makes references to water, so a kiss is water and quenches your thirst.
I liked this poem because it was so simple to comprehend and again with the extended metaphors in which I am absolutely infatuated with. Also, the subject can be many things, and not just a love interest. In fact, instead of making numerous water comparisons, maybe the poet was extremely thirsty, and compared having a drink of water to being reborn and being healed. My best guess is that the author wanted to compare drinking from a water fountain to a kiss, because it makes you feel refreshed. When you obtain the water from a water fountain, it shoots up like an eternal stream because it is continuous and your mouth acts as a valley holding it in. I believe that the water is a metaphor for a kiss as much as the kiss is a metaphor for water. Either a kiss is like water, or the water is like a kiss, but one thing is for certain, that the poet put in a lot of time and effort into this one, and if he keeps it up I will continue to read his poems next semester.
I am no even going to waste my time looking for someone to agree with, because for some odd reason it is Thursday night and no one has submitted a comment yet. I usually wait until 2 or 3 people have already posted in order to do this last section. Perhaps it was not required to this week, but it is definitely too late now. I believe Plato said it best when he stated, “Wise men speak because they have something to say; Fools because they have to say something.”
To me I like the way that you describe the way you feel when you kiss someone. I think that this is the exact same way that people feel when they kiss someone that they really love. Even though there are those out there who deny it your not afraid to show it.
In this line “When I cry for love I cry for you your lips; salvation” it’s a metaphor to which you’re craving for a desire that satisfy all your needs.
I think that the tone of the poem is calm and romantic. The reason why is because the poet is explaining how much he is in love with the person’s lips and how it fulfill the poet. The poet also tries to say that he feels comfortable we he is surrounded by the warmth and taste of their lips. For example, in this line “When I kiss you my wounds are healed and sorrow evaporates”, it says that when he is hurt he can turn to your lips to make him feel whole again. I kind of liked the poem because he explains the way that many people feel about each other when they miss them or when they are still in love. I think that people should be more often like the poet to which they aren’t scared to say what their heart feels.
"Your Lips"
“When I kiss you
My wounds are healed
And sorrow evaporates”
The moment I read this stanza, I felt deep admiration towards it. It is intensely thought-provoking. I interpret it to mean that the poet feels his pain disappears when he kisses his lover, as one’s conscience is cleared when they tell the truth. It is stating that the passion the two lovers share when their lips touch may be enough to cure emotional pain. This particular line of the poem is a hyperbole, exaggerating the feeling of salvation when the poet receives a kiss from his lover. The love and warmth of that single kiss produces freedom in the poet’s heart.
The tone of the poem is undoubtedly affectionate and appreciative. For instance, the use of the words “Love”, “Sorrow”, and even “Kiss” brings the seductive tone of this poem. In essence, I believe the tone of the poem is somewhat reflective of the love that the poet is feeling toward his significant other.
A metaphor is found used in the first stanza when the poet writes, “When you kiss me, a river flows through my veins”. I’m guessing that the poet is implying that he experiences an increase in blood flow or pressure every moment he feels his lover’s enchanting kiss.
The following stanza, “When your lips touch mine, it’s awakening into another World” may be related to the first; The moment of passion that the poet feels when he kisses his lover, or when their lips touch is like stepping into another contemporary and unexplainable world filled with love and indulgence. This stanza is an example of a metaphor.
Furthermore, symbolism is used in the fourth stanza whereby the poet’s lover is a symbol of love, not only his, but in general. He states “When I cry for love, I cry for you”, as if thinking of compassion whenever the thought of his lover comes to mind. This line makes crying out for his lover equivalent to the simple cry for love.
I found it deeply delightful reading this particular poem. It was like no other poem I had read, relating to the topic of love. The poem makes one contemplate as they haven’t before on the particular subject. I reflected on the multiple uses of figurative language and the sweetness of the exuberant work.
I am in agreement with what Alan Champagne says about the poem. He states, “Also, the subject may be many things, and not just a love interest.” For example, the poet may have been referring to a favorite food in which he gets pleasure from tasting. Perhaps chocolate, whereby when it touches his lips, he savors it in his mind, body and soul as well.
"When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates."
This line of the poem truly touched me. It shows the powerful effect that such a small thing, as a kiss, can have on someone. This line shows true emotions and its something I believe everyone can relate to.
This stanza contains a hyperbole because when you kiss someone your wounds dont heal immediately. Also sorrow cant actually evaporate showing that this is an exaggeration.
I agree with Bibi stating that it is a hyperbole because wounds dont heal that rapidly. I beleive the poet was expressing the feeling of freedom and the way one forgets their troubles because their mind is clouded with the affection and passion of their lover.
Personally, I loved the poem. It shows affection and love through similes, metaphors and hyperboles. The poem is filled with figurative speech and this helps set the tone for the poem. It shows passion and love and I believe it can really get through to someone.
"When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates."
This line of the poem truly touched me. It shows the powerful effect that such a small thing, as a kiss, can have on someone. This line shows true emotions and its something I believe everyone can relate to.
This stanza contains a hyperbole because when you kiss someone your wounds dont heal immediately. Also sorrow cant actually evaporate showing that this is an exaggeration.
I agree with Bibi stating that it is a hyperbole because wounds dont heal that rapidly. I beleive the poet was expressing the feeling of freedom and the way one forgets their troubles because their mind is clouded with the affection and passion of their lover.
Personally, I loved the poem. It shows affection and love through similes, metaphors and hyperboles. The poem is filled with figurative speech and this helps set the tone for the poem. It shows passion and love and I believe it can really get through to someone.
The poem has a sort of affectionate tone but mostly I think it’s meant to show love. It has that passionate or intense loving mood to it. The poet seems to me like a caged bird who finally seems to express his most sincere feelings through his poem and I believe he did a wonderful job in setting this mood.
When I started reading this poem it immediately caught my attention. The amount of feeling portrayed in this poem is unbelievably intense. When I read the two stanzas,
"When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.
When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;"
I literally drew a mental picture. The words are so vivid and well expressed. This poem is extremely passionate and outstanding. I enjoyed and I admire every word.
"When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins."
This line represents how strong the poet's love is. I like the choice of wording, because you can sort of feel his mood.
The tone is very affectionate and loving. He seems to have uncoditional love for the person.
I agree with Bibi. The quote about the blood rushing through his veins is metaphor. This is because hes comparing the delight of the kiss with increasing blood flow, both having to deal with pressure.
Honestly I cannot tell if I like the poem or not. I'm not poetic, and its just not an iterest of mine.
“When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.”
This line demonstrates exactly how a person feel’s when he/she kisses someone they love. It made me think of a powerful but sweet medicine that can cure all intense diseases a person may have. For example, he might be having the worst day of his life but the poignant kiss of his lover makes him forget all the stressful moments of the day. Every kiss he receives from her makes him a better and new person. It gives him the energy to continue through the day.
Throughout the poem the tone is passionate. For instance, the author wrote, “I leap into your mouth,/and you bathe me with your tongue,/sweet holy water.” He feels such an ardent passion for her that he awakes into another world whenever they kiss. That is how grand his love for her is! It must feel wonderful to love someone who loves you back with the same strong desire.
“When you kiss me/ a river flows/ through my veins,” is an example of a metaphor. A literal river can’t flow through any human’s veins. In my opinion, this line can be interpreted two ways: 1) he receives a rush that is so strong as a river’s force, or 2) he gets so calm as when a river is running smoothly. Either way one thing is constant: that kiss makes him soar through the sky. The line mentioned at the beginning is an example of another metaphor. Sorrows cannot evaporate but when they leave so instantly thanks to a kiss it can be compared to that.
Honestly, I cannot relate to this poem because I haven’t felt that way. All I can do is imagine how it would feel. However, I do like the poem because it is very descriptive. He says “blissful fountain, dreams no longer continue to be my sanctuary, you bathe me with your tongue, sweet holy water.” All these adoring lines make it easier for someone to imagine how it must feel to be kissed by another who loves you sincerely. I love what one of the anonymous writers said, “I believe the poet was expressing the feeling of freedom and the way one forgets their troubles because their mind is clouded with the affection and passion of their lover.” I suppose that is what happens: the person’s mind is clouded and for a while cannot come to reality. I would like to add that when the person comes to reality he/she will have the strength to make it through the day. Love can be so powerful! Well, keep up the excellent work Mr.D.
“dreams no longer continue to be my sanctuary.” When I read this line I was very moved. Dreams are the getaway from reality, where all things can be true. For a kiss to make you feel so free and wonderful that you no longer need dreams they must be quite amazing. I thought this was one of the best stanzas of the entire poem because it was so clear how great her lips were. Everybody dreams and knows how wonderful dreams are, so to be able to give up dreams for a kiss means this kiss meant very much to you. I love the use of the word sanctuary as well; A place of worship, where you no longer worship dreams but her lips. The line is amazingly beautiful and romantic.
Every line of this poem bleeds love and devotion. The tone is obvious. “When I cry for love I cry for you, your lips; salvation.” To say that her lips are the meaning of love, the symbol of love, to you obviously shows you love her and are completely devoted to her. “When I kiss you my wounds are healed and sorrow evaporates.” Her lips are healing to you they give you life and make everything else meaningless. How powerful is that! It is unquestionable how you feel about the girl you speak of.
As with every poem of your I have read so far, I love this poem. Such romance and love in every letter you have written. You choose such beautiful ways to word things and make anyone reading feel exactly what you feel. You convey your thoughts with no vagueness; every word has clarity.
I agree with one of the anonymous writers when they said “It made me think of a powerful but sweet medicine that can cure all intense diseases a person may have.” That is exactly what I was thinking when I read “When I kiss you my wounds are healed and sorrow evaporates.” For a kiss to be that powerful to heal wounds is alluring. All in all this is a exquisite poem and I loved it.
Your Lips
When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.
When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;
dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary.
When I cry for love
I cry for you,
your lips;
salvation.
When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.
I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue,
sweet holy water.
Blissful fountain,
eternal stream, I
am your
grateful
valley.
I really enjoyed reading this poem because I felt very pulled into it as if I were the person writing this describing exactly how the kiss felt. It made me think of the way I felt when I had my first kiss. The sensation that is felt when the chance is given to show a person your emotions using more then words.
My favorite line of the poem was “When your lips touch mine it’s an awakening into another world; dreams no longer continue to be my sanctuary.” This line defines the tone of the poem as romanticism occurring and two people being so in love they could feel it all, as it describes the kiss as being a portal into another world, a world where the person could feel the others emotions very clearly and effortlessly, something that cannot be seen any other way.
The poem uses a hyperbole when it says “I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue.” The person is not literally leaping into the others mouth neither being bathed with their tongue. This line simply describes the person kissing them which requires their lips meeting and using their tongue as a French kiss for example.
I agree with the comment left by jb because I think as well that the poet feels comfortable in the others persons lips, admires and enjoys them as well. I also agree with their lips having the ability to cure a person when they are hurt. I really believe this is a strong very affectionate poem.
“When your lips touch mine it’s an awakening into another world”
This stanza reminded me of a feeling I use to get just from being around this guy. It was lust but when I read this line I knew exactly the feeling. Yours probably more intense but I could strongly feel the emotion running through me. It is as if you have been pulled out of time and put into a dreamlike experience. Your heart races (or stops) and you feel like there is a million butterflies in your stomach. At the same time you have never felt so safe, warm and in bliss. I am kind of going on a gut feeling here but it’s probably pretty magical as if “awakening into another world.” The way you use the word awakening is kind of interesting because it is as if the kiss of this women makes you wake up from a drone-like world into a world where you actually feel alive but when I envision a kiss that remarkable I always imagine the world around the lovers dimming almost to blackness as they are put in to a blissful ignorance (Not a bad thing here) of everything.
The tone I perceived from it was entranced because your words produced like a sense of wonder and dream-like state of mind. I would say it was zealous but I don’t really feel it is that enthusiastic. It could be the combination of the red text on a black background with reading the line, “I leap into your mouth and you bathe me with your tongue, sweet holy water.” This particular line was very controversial which makes it stand out (A++ for that) but it still made me kind of sick. A good example of the tone being entrancing would be the line, “Blissful fountain, eternal stream, I am your grateful valley. The best word to describe it would have to be wow but not in a mocking way but like the sky has never been so beautiful type of wow.
The poem is filled with metaphors such as my favorite, “ Dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary.” Which is saying that her kisses (and maybe her) make your reality so wonderful that dreams don’t need to be your happy place anymore but instead her lips can be. A hyperbole is used when you say, “I leap into your mouth” because I am pretty sure her mouth is not big enough to jump in but instead you are saying that you are more than willing to let her take you away emotionally and physically with her kisses. One thing I have yet to see you use is an onomatopoeia. I think it would have lighten the poem if you were to put a splash before, “I leap into your mouth.” I personally hate writing that way but it always seems to be a cute little add-on when others do it.
Yes, I did like this poem because it really brought back a feeling that felt pretty great. I think your usage of metaphors was good but one thing I wish more people did in their poetry is not be so obvious with their metaphors. Not too much of that in this poem but I have seen it. I wonder if it is suppose to be that way and if I am just crazy for wanting to make the reader come up with their own interpretation and make them really think outside the box. I really like my poems to not be so open with their meanings but for your class I suppose I can go easy on the kids.
I definitely have to agree with Jb because most people are afraid to show emotions towards another in fear of being not loved back the same way, rejected, or ridiculed but really it only holds you back. It takes incredible courage, which I sometimes have, to risk your heart in that type of way. I personally believe that all guys should always tell a girl how they feel no matter what. Girls should not have to be burden with such tasks unless it is an emergency.
Written by: Krishni
“Your Lips”
“And you bathe me with your tongue”, this line made me feel uncomfortable because if you just picture it, it is kind of gross literally (I probably watch too many horror movies). I know what you were trying to say with this line but when I read it a picture popped into my mind for a few seconds.
The tone of the poem was loving; “When your lips touch mine it’s an awakening into another world” this line shows that every time you kiss her (or him) it is like you’re in a whole new place, just you and her, where nothing can go wrong. You feel invisible to the world you are in now and all worries are gone.
Metaphor- You compared kissed in the first line with a feeling, which is a river through your veins, also in the fifth paragraph you say that her kisses can heal your wounds. When your lips touch hers, you gain access to another world. She bathes you with her tongue and its sweet holy water.
No I didn’t actually liked the poem because I’m not into that sensitive stuff like Romeo and Juliet. Just ask yourself, what if the girl leaves or dumps you the next day? You are going to be crying all day and probably won’t be able to move on for the next couple of days, months, or even years! Oh and also because reading it wasted my time but it was good and I’m telling the truth so there is no need for point deduction.
I strongly disagree with Alan because drinking water and kissing are two different things. I know you are trying to say that maybe the poet was referring to that but I don’t think it was drinking water, it could have been probably the feeling you get when you kiss a girl who you strongly like or even the poets daughter (since they kiss you and leave saliva all over you), he might love his daughter so much that he wrote a poem about her or him because he never actually says that it’s a guy or girl.
First off I would like to say I agree with jb's comment when he says that "In this line “When I cry for love I cry for you your lips; salvation” it’s a metaphor to which you’re craving for a desire that satisfy all your needs."
I agree with him 100% and I think that that is only one of a number of metaphors that can be found in this poem, even though it is so short. I have to say that I completely when he says the tone of the poem is calm and romantic, although this poem could have easily been written with a sense of excitement, but it is clear that that is not what you intended.
Reading your poem, one line stuck out above all others, that line is "dreams no longer continue to be my sanctuary" my first thought was what does that exactly mean?? But after a bit of thinking, I decided that it must relate to the fact that in your dreams you’re whoever you want to be, you can fly. Then when you’re with her holding her in your arms, you feel the same, you feel like you could fly. All the dreams of being with her, falling in love finally have all come true now that you’re with her. Like I said earlier, the tone of this poem is romantic and calm. One example of this is...
"When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;"
You can clearly see he romance here, your lips touch mine, its a great line, and is 100% clear on what its saying. You can also see the calm in this phrase, you choose to use the word awakening which is calm as appose to another world like rush or some other more exciting word. In this poem there are a lot of figurative language, but the most prominent would be the metaphors, lines such as "I leap into your mouth,
and you bathe me with your tongue,
sweet holy water." where you compare her saliva to sweet holy water. This line also happens to be an example of figurative language, because you could not literally leap into her mouth..Or at least I hope not. This line also has what I believe to be a hyperbole when you say you bathe me with your tongue because I do not believe that she could actually give you a bath with her tongue it would not be suffice and plus I don’t think she would like the taste of soap.... and finally, I would like to say that I did very much enjoy this poem, I liked the metaphors and the overall tone of the poem. Good job Mr. D.
"When you kiss me a river flows through my veins"
This line is an example of a metaphor. It shows how fast your blood is racing when your heart goes 'aflutter'. When you are with the one you love, your blood, basically the essence and life of all human beings, is heightened with the passion of the kiss. The kind of kiss that makes your heart beat as fast as the butterflies in your stomach. This opening statement ultimately sets an influential tone conveying passion and love, but not without lust. I also see relief. The beginning of the poem is also the end of an interval. The delay of the kiss, but doesn't that sometimes make it worth it? I see examples of this where you "cry for love I cry for you" and after the kiss, you say "dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary." because your sanctuary is now a reality.
I agree with Alan when he compares the eternal stream with unwavering love and when he says a kiss is water and quenches your thirst, because it quenches your thirst for the escape to this new world with the "sweet holy water". I liked this poem, but it was not as commendable as prior poems I've read of yours, but this theme really isn't my style. Although I found it interesting, wether it was your intent or not, the synergy of an inherently sinful act with references to holy, bodily and spiritual cleansing. But who knows, this could be the best way to cleanse ones soul of ailments such as loneliness or grief.
The lines;
“When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.”
demonstrate the rush of emotions the poet receives when he kisses his lover. The lines are a great example of a metaphor since a river doesn’t really flow through the poet’s veins. It could metaphorically stand for the rush of emotions that one feels when they are in love with someone and they kiss, or for the acceleration of heart rate pumping causing more blood to pump through the body, because of excitement. I believe the tone of the poem is a loving and seductive. It shows loving characteristics in the lines that say when the poet cries for love, he cries for his lover. It is seductive because all the poet talks or describes is the kissing aspect of their love. The figurative language found on this poem is a metaphor on the first line. It talks of a river flowing through the veins of the poet, but it is really just his own blood, nothing more. It just compares the way a river travels liquids through a structured path, and the way blood travels through the veins of the body. I liked the poem because it was easy to understand as long as you didn’t take things literally. It was simple in the way it was structured because every stanza was short and to the point. Looking over jb’s comment about the tone being calm and romantic, I agree with the romantic part because the poet is really passionate about his kissing, yet I don’t seem to see the poem as calm because the poet describes the kisses as so good that he awakens in another world, the kiss might be cal but the emotions are running wild.
Poem: “Your Lips”
“When I kiss you
my wounds are healed
and sorrow
evaporates.”
I noticed two examples of figurative language in these four lines. In the first one, “when I kiss you my wounds are healed,” it’s not like your wounds just heal like that if you kiss someone you love. The narrator is mentioning mental “wounds,” not physical ones. When he kisses the person he loves, he is able to stop worrying about his problems. In the second example, “and sorrow evaporates,” sorrow doesn’t evaporate. In this case, the narrator is just forgetting his problems.
“Dreams no longer
continue to be my sanctuary”
It seems as if the narrator no longer needs his imagination to be able to escape from any difficult situations. To him, being with the girl he loves and kissing her is enough for him. I did not notice this, but while reading throughout the comments I noticed that “addycted2syn” had said something similar to me. He added more to what he said by saying that he thought it was amazing that the narrator only needed a kiss to escape from reality. I agree with him because you need your imagination in order to escape the real world. It must mean a lot for a kiss to be able to replace imagination.
”Blissful fountain,
eternal stream, I
am your
grateful
valley.”
These lines show how glad the narrator to be with whoever he is with. He feels lucky to be with someone who can make his problems go away quickly.
I believe the tone of the poem is loving and appreciative. The narrator loves the person that he is with so much that a kiss from her is all he needs to make his day better. In the end of the poem, he admits how grateful he is for being with that girl.
I thought this poem was pretty good. What makes this poem good is that you have many examples of figurative language and metaphors, and you really express your feelings in this poem. What bothered me is that, to me, the feeling of love is too strong for me. Besides that, everything was good.
When your lips touch mine
it’s an awakening
into another world;
This line made me think of a Japanese cartoon called “Fullmetal Alchemist” in which the only way you could get to another dimension is by some powerful force.
When I cry for love
I cry for you
From this line I can tell the tone of the poem is a person who loves whoever they are with for example this line.
When you kiss me
a river flows
through my veins.
This line is a hyperbole because the person doesn’t literally mean a river is flowing through his veins he means that he’s excited and when a person is excited bloods starts flowing.
I liked this poem I think it was exciting and since it’s short the read was short and amusing.
I agree with Alan because this poem can be referred to more than one thing other than a love interest like quenching someone thirst by getting what you want. Getting a special kiss might actually be as good as getting an ice cold drink after a marathon.
Mr. Donoso. i dont have you yet, but wow. This is amazing. Very nice emotions
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