Introspection
I know what you mean when you
tell me you miss having someone
next to you, the warm naked body
you think will never hurt you.
I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.
When you tell me you feel sad,
incomplete, cheated of your favorite
thing, person, love, I know what
you must be feeling, contemplating.
When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,
a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you.
I am with you, I am like you,
I miss the same things, I breathe
foolishly empty air, I smile also
when I am sad, I am alone.
I am tired of love, afraid of its
pain, overwhelming persistance
on my memory, fading pictures
of past bodies, hair, and love.
You and I often forget to listen,
you live inside yourself, doomed
to argue with the heart and mind,
leaving friends outside your wall.
You and I are not alone, we have
each other, we are the you and
I of this lonely naked body,
a puppet with the strings clipped.
I know what you mean when you
tell me you miss having someone
next to you, the warm naked body
you think will never hurt you.
I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.
When you tell me you feel sad,
incomplete, cheated of your favorite
thing, person, love, I know what
you must be feeling, contemplating.
When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,
a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you.
I am with you, I am like you,
I miss the same things, I breathe
foolishly empty air, I smile also
when I am sad, I am alone.
I am tired of love, afraid of its
pain, overwhelming persistance
on my memory, fading pictures
of past bodies, hair, and love.
You and I often forget to listen,
you live inside yourself, doomed
to argue with the heart and mind,
leaving friends outside your wall.
You and I are not alone, we have
each other, we are the you and
I of this lonely naked body,
a puppet with the strings clipped.
28 comments:
Title: Introspection
Line: When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped, I know it is an act to protect you.
This poem blew my mind, Mr.Donoso!! In the beginning I thought you were talking to a nice lookin’ women who had just lost a boyfriend or something, but at the climax of your poem, I realized that you were talking to yourself! That was a twisted way to treat a crucial member of the criticism club, but you know what? I gonna break you and your poem down! Put on your glasses Mr. Optimus Prime because you’re about to be blown away!
After reading the poem, it made me think about the thoughts that I’ve had regarding these so called women and teenage girls. And yes I said women. With the right clothes I look older and more “spiffy” for my age! But for some odd reason, it takes more work to get your ex-lovers out of your thoughts than trying to halla at them and spite some game to get those ten digits! The longer they spend time with you, the harder it is to let them go. But that’s only part of the situation in this poem. As the poem opens up, the speaker is talking to himself, saying, “I know what you mean, I know how you feel.” As the conversation continues, the speaker reveals that it is himself who is better without her, as in a women. This is the point at which I think is the climax of the poem, when the black sheets are pulled back to reveal deeper and more astonishing thoughts and the point where the speaker changes his mind about needing a women. Please, please, please tell me that the poet is not in the same situation as the speaker! There will be times when a person gets sick of being with themselves and needs to have an angel-like touch from a goddess from a little place I like to call EARTH! Without these vital conditions, results might be cataclysmic. For example, it would be like putting me in jail! And when I come out, I won’t be the same milk-chocolate, muscle-bound, slick with a pik dude. I might even have a new name, “The names Diva, hoooowww you doin?” (I better not see or hear any remarks about this name on the blog or all H-E-double hockey sticks is goin’ to break loose! You Dig!!!)
Back to the important stuff. I liked how the speaker made me think that he was talking to a fine looking woman. When all the lights were turned on, the speaker was actually talking to himself. Talk about split personalities. It was like he gave his own soul its own body to operate while he talks to it. Could that be personification or what? It sure sounds like it. The tone of this poem was quite pitiful and “wimpish”. I mean, when a man starts to talk to himself about not needing a woman and then saying that he’s tired of love and afraid of being let down, it’s almost like that man is swimming to the other end of the gender pool. My comment on this poem is as follows: When love lets you down, and literally drops you on your head, hope shouldn’t be given up, even when you think you’ve ran out of persistence juice! All in all, this was another excellent poem by the Great Donoso!
-D_V_N Johnson
P.S. When the world, gives you lemons, you don’t just make lemonade, you give ME a good grade!!!
“When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask.” This made me realize you are talking to a friend. This is a poem sort of to describe your feelings to you r friend. I think you are telling him that he is not alone. That you also feel the way he does and that if he needs someone to talk to. This must be a close friend of yours. “I am with you, I am like you, I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.” This also relates to what I just said but, it’s more on showing all the similarities that you two have. You are both yearning this person and wish you could have them back in your life.
“I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love.” This line analyzes your tone, I can tell that the more you think about this person and the more you miss them and want to be with them, the more pain you go through. You are sad that she is no longer with you. You are tired of love only because you are so used to getting hurt. You are used to getting hurt in relationships and you are scared to go back. You don’t really want to take that chance. Every time you must ask yourself, will this be worth it?
“You live inside yourself, doomed to argue with the heart and mind,” in this line you use personification you can’t really argue with your heart or your mind. You are simply implying that you can’t make up your mind your gut tells you one thing but your heart yells another. (I know that feeling very well) You also cant literally live inside yourself what you are trying to say is that you are scared to put yourself out there because you don’t want to get hurt. I like this poem a lot, this poem was the best by far. I’m very picky on who I choose as friends, but when I feel a person is worthy of being my friend I want them to know that I am there for them no matter what.
In this poem you express feelings for love and also for someone you care about that is going through the same thing you are. You are not only relating to them but letting them know that you are there to help. “The tone of this poem was quite pitiful and “wimpish”. “ I completely disagree I think that he seems very manly while he expresses himself throughout this poem. I think that he is proving to her that he truly cares about this female. What’s so bad about guys expressing their feelings to women? I think that is the thin line separating men from guys! Keep it up Mr. Donoso you are truly talented!
“Introspection”
“I am with you, I am like you,
I miss the same things, I breathe
foolishly empty air, I smile also
when I am sad, I am alone.”
These lines mean that the author is very much like the subject and is stating a connection between them. The author’s tone is very hopeful and they miss the one they love, but is trying to conceal it.
“I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.”
The author is comparing being alone, to being naked. When you do not have clothes, you are symbolically naked because you do not have your clothes to keep you warm and keep you happy like a love interest does. Also the author compares the sweet smell of hair to red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream this is a personal simile, because the poet recalls that this person loves the smell of wine and ice-cream.
“When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,
a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you.”
The author uses a simile to compare the way this person pretends to act happy without their love interest to a mask. This means that the author is trying to smile, when there is no happy emotion being felt. Also there is a use of personification because masks to do not smile.
“I am tired of love, afraid of its
pain, overwhelming persistence
on my memory, fading pictures
of past bodies, hair, and love.”
Here, the author is describing the effects of love on his memory and is fading the images of the past.
“You and I are not alone, we have
each other, we are the you and
I of this lonely naked body,
a puppet with the strings clipped.”
These lines just refer back to previous lines in the poem and states that the reader is not alone and has the author, and the author has the reader.
I liked this poem, because the last stanza tied the previous lines together.
I agree with Devon, because he says that giving up on love and complaining about it is a feminine trait and is wimpish and cowardly.
Wow, Mr. Donoso this poem is really good. In the beginning of the poem I thought you were talking to your love, and then I thought you were talking to a friend, and suddenly I realized at the very end of the poem that you were talking to yourself when you said, “You and I are not alone, we have each other, we are the you and I of this lonely naked body, a puppet with the strings clipped.” In this stanza I new then that throughout the whole poem you were having a conversation with your thoughts about how you feel. My favorite line in this poem would have to be when you said, “I am with you, I am like you, I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.” That line is my favorite because to me it explains most of the emotion in the poem. By just reading these few lines you can tell that you and the person inside have something in common, they both miss their loves and are alone. Also reading this stanza it really helped me understand the meaning in the poem and the main idea.
I think the tone in the beginning of this poem is gloomy because you and he person inside seem to be missing their loves and are feeling alone. In the last stanza I think the tone towards the end of the poem seems to be more accepting that the fact that you were not alone because its you, your heart feelings, and mind. For some apparent reason I really like the tone in the beginning of this poem because when I am alone I also feel gloomy and alone.
I notice some figurative language in the poem, but there was one that really stuck out to me. When you said, “We are the you and I of this lonely naked body, a puppet with the strings clipped,” I realized that that was a metaphor because you basically said that you are a puppet with clipped strings. Also when you said that, I think that your are trying to say that you don’t need anyone to make your moves and decisions, your string are clipped and you are free to do as you please.
I agree with anonymous #1’s comment when he/she said that you were talking to yourself. Also I agree with anonymous #2’s comment when he/she says that they like the last stanza because it really ties up the poem. Mr. Donoso, I really liked this poem because at one point in my life I felt alone, but some how I found the person inside and picked myself back up.
Lines: When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,
a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you.
These are my favorite line because it talks about how people hide their true feeling behind some mask they made up. I think that people shouldn’t hide their true self from everyone because then for example they wouldn’t be able to help you cheer up when you’re sad. Some figurative language is “to smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.” this is a simile comparing the women hair to red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream which makes her hair smells good. Also “I am with you, I am like you,” this compare the two people that they are in the same situation and can feel for each other. I like this poem because it on a slight change of course of love, it’s instead talks about how people hide their feeling and how you’re not the only one in your situation. The tone of this poem is sad and missing because he sad because he can’t be with his love and missing because he wishes to be with her. I agree with -D_V_N Johnson because at first I too thought you were talking about another person feeling.
Introspection
"When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask." I think this line means that when the person says they are happy without her, they are just "wearing a mask" as in trying to hide their true feelings, that they really do miss her. I think the tone of this poem is empathetic.Evidence of this is "I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire." Some figurative language is " a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you." I think this means that without their lover they are totally lost. I like this poem because of the good figurative language. I agree with anonymous when they say that the last stanza ties the poem together.
~Greg C.
The lines, “You and I often forget to listen,
you live inside yourself, doomed
to argue with the heart and mind,
leaving friends outside your wall.”
I say, how this person leaves their friends out of the problem. This person the poet is talking about is saying how a person can have a forever conflict with what their heart tell them against the mind. The person also knows that friends cannot truly help but can give either good or bad support depending on your judgment. The lines “When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,”
Is a personification since a mask can't really smile but the poet is showing how this person always smile like a happy mask always does. The tome of this poem can be found by these lines,” You and I are not alone, we have
each other, we are the you and
I of this lonely naked body,
a puppet with the strings clipped.”
The tone expressed in this self-reflection on love and how everyone in one way or another is like a puppet that will one day be free from its master. I didn't like or dislike this poem but it is different from the other poems I read. I feel that this poem goes a bit off track then get backs on track. I agree Greg C. about what he said that the lovers are lost without each other. Since the poet is describing how much both of them misses each other and how much they are similar.
Introspection
“You and I are not alone, we have each other,” is my favorite line in this poem because it shows the love and closeness of these two people. Throughout one’s life, people all hope to have a friend that they can truly confide in and trust completely. Some think they have friends like this, but they haven’t come close. I know for a fact that I’ve found a friend with this same closeness the poet speaks of. We have been inseparable since the beginning of sixth grade; people think we are related. I honestly don’t know where I would be without her. Even though I have had other friends that have crushed me, she and I have always been there for each other. I also like the line that says, “I know it is an act to protect you.” This only shows that the poet knows exactly what his friend is feeling for two reasons. The first reason being that he knows his friend well enough to know his ways of defense. The second reason is more accurate; the poet knows how his friend feels because he’s been there. Sometimes it’s nice to talk with a friend that has been in the same situation and knows exactly what you are feeling because then you don’t feel so alone in your feelings.
The tone of this poem is reflective. Firstly the title tells the reader this because the words reflection and introspection are synonyms. Secondly, although the author is trying to comfort his friend, I feel he is also looking back about his prior experience. The compassion the poet has while describing his love leads me to believe that he’s describing his personal situation rather than a generalized scenario. “I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love.” This line showed me that the poet was truly talking about his situation as well because he makes it clear that he still thinks about and misses this love greatly.
“I know what you must feel, right now, alone, naked, filled with the desire.” This line is a metaphor. I think the poet meant his friend felt stripped of his comforts. He was comparing the comfort of wearing clothes in public to the comfort of being with his love. “To smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.” This line is a simile because the poet is comparing the woman’s hair color to the color of red wine and vanilla bean ice-cream. “When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped.” This line is a metaphor because the emotions displayed by the hurt friend are being compared to emotions a mask displays that always appears happy. “I breathe foolishly empty air.” This line is considered a personification because in actuality, the air can’t be empty. The poet simply means that it feels as though the there is no excitement to breathing; life seems pointless. “I smile also when I am sad.” This line is an oxymoron because smiling happens when people are happy, which the opposite of sad.
I absolutely love this poem! This poem is great proof that friends really can be there for you in times of need. I find it extremely interesting that the poet can tell his friend that he is there for him and at the same time writing specifically about his past relationship.
I agree with Nicole when she said, “What’s so bad about guys expressing their feelings to women?” Men like to give off the appearance that they are strong and often times when men show this emotion they are considered wimpy. But I strongly believe that everyone has a heart that has the same needs and has the same feelings. Men and women should both be able to discuss their feelings without worrying about the public’s opinion.
Matthew Madonia 12/13 Introspection
"When you tell me you feel sad,
incomplete, cheated of your favorite
thing, person, love, I know what
you must be feeling, "
I like this line, it shows that the author has felt the same sort of pain that the subject he is writing to has felt. I have not personally lost the one that I love, I have lost great friends due to them moving away or graduating middle-school, and when my friends are missing the people they grew up with I can relate to them.
The feeling of the mood is sad. The end of the poem summarizes the entire feeling of the poem. A puppet with the strings cut. A puppet can not move without it's master pulling the strings, but once the strings are cut it is rendered lifeless, useless, and pointless. So the overall feeling of the poem was sad.
"filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream"
The author is comparing the scent of a lover to the scent of vanilla been ice-cream and red wine. Both of the scents mentioned are pleasant to smell, but they are also something that we can indulge in. Both Ice cream and Red Wine are luxuries that we enjoy, so a lover is like that fine wine that you have been saving for the perfect situation, and a lover is something that I love to embrace in just like ice-cream.
After reading through it multiple times I have decided that I like this poem. At first nothing stood out to me, but after reading the last lines a few times I decided that the poem was worth reading. And though the last few lines were my favorite the poem could carry itself without them so it receives a B from me, which means that I liked it.
Well my Internet is currently down, and I had someone print this poem for me so I do not have anything to agree with at the moment, but if anyone said that this poem could be great if a little more thought was put into it then I agree with them. In addition to this, I will try to find a way to get someone to place this comment on your blog, maybe I'll se if my A I M is working
Wow just wow that poem I liked so much. I agree with Devin very mind blooming poem. It really touched me so much, for I can relate to the poet in this poem. I am the type of person who trusts people easily and puts my heart out there with friends and family. But once that person you trust hurts you, who you thought wouldn’t hurt you. You are feeling empty alone, and missing having them. Missing having their presence even though they left you hurt. You try to hide from the world the hurt you hold inside. And trust me anyone who has ever gotten broken up with or got their heart broken has felt this. Has felt that I have been hurt now I wish to hide my heart from the world. When the fact is you can’t hide it from the world forever or you will never find the true person your meant to be with. You rob yourself from love and happiness.
As hard it is to admit at the times when you were hurt, life goes on. The person you care about will keep living. Life around you will still keep going on. Time wouldn’t freeze because someone broke your heart. It wouldn’t stop because you’re in pain only you pause your life. But if you do you will miss out on love, happiness, and most of all life. Life is a word people often misunderstand. Life isn’t all about the happy times in your life, or the loud ones, or the sad ones. Life is all the feelings of love, hate, sad, anger, like, friendship and so many emotions we feel everyday. Life is a roller coaster of emotions and you are the only one who has the choice whether to stay behind or get on for the ride. And for me all those horrible times of months and years of hurt are forgotten in the second of a true moment of happiness.
The poet’s tone is lonely and missing. Like when the poet says, “ I know how you feel, right now, alone, naked, and filled with the desire to smell the hair.” This statement meaning that the poet knows how this person he is writing about feels because he felt it. Again this poem really did touch me. Yes it was kinda broad but it still has a personal touch. Like when the poet says, “When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped.” This is a metaphor comparing the person that has gotten hurt to a puppet. Which basically means that they hide how they really feel like a puppet would just do as it puppeteer wants.
This poem is about how someone knows what its like to loss someone, and miss them dearly, but also they are like done with love. They are tired of what it does to them, once that special one leaves. The lines “When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,
a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you” show that by saying he doesn’t care, and is just fine without her is a way of protection. How he is trying to feel better, make the most out of a situation. The tone of this poem is kind of pitiful, but also you can sense that they speak in an understanding way. do agree with this poem, for its hard to lose someone but you have to get on with your life. You even have to say you are happy without them, it’s a good way to get over them. The like “smiling like some mask” is a simile. Its comparing the smile to a mask’ smile. I agree with what someone said... “Wow, Mr. Donoso this poem is really good.” For this was a really good poem.
This poem has a lonely, missing tone. What brings me to this conclusion is because the author explains how he feels about this individual he is no longer with. The line that says, “I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.” shows how the author feels now that this person has left them. The author also states how he misses the smell of her hair and how it smells like red wine and ice-cream.
I have spotted three uses of figurative language in this poem. The first use I noticed was when you said, "To smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream." This simile is a comparison of the smell of the individual’s hair to the smell of red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream. The second use of figurative language I spotted was the line that said, "When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask." This line is also a simile referring to the stale smile on this persons face when they say they're happy without her. Lastly, I found two forms of personification. The first being the line that said, "You live inside yourself." You cannot live inside yourself, what the author means is that the person is kept to themselves, away from everyone. Also the part that says, "Doomed to argue with the heart and mind" you can't engage in a argument with your heart and mind, what the author is saying is that the person doesn't know if they should listen to their heart or mind. I'm pretty sure there are more forms of figurative language in this poem; this was just the few I pointed out to my likelihood.
I liked this poem, but it isn't as good as the other love struck ones I have read. It clearly defines how the author feels about leaving someone by comparing it to scents and facial expressions. I clearly like the passionate and affectionate poems because I like the way you make comparisons with the way someone feels. This poem is yet another great poem on your successful rap sheet, just not number one on my hot list.
I would have to disagree with “DVN Johnson”. I do not think this poem is a “wimpish” poem. The author boldly states how he feels about an individual and the memories he has left. This is good work, keep it up Mr. Donoso!
Introspection
“I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.”
This poem has a lonely, missing tone. What brings me to this conclusion is because the author explains how he feels about this individual he is no longer with. The line that says, “I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.” shows how the author feels now that this person has left them. The author also states how he misses the smell of her hair and how it smells like red wine and ice-cream.
I have spotted three uses of figurative language in this poem. The first use I noticed was when you said, "To smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream." This simile is a comparison of the smell of the individual’s hair to the smell of red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream. The second use of figurative language I spotted was the line that said, "When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask." This line is also a simile referring to the stale smile on this persons face when they say they're happy without her. Lastly, I found two forms of personification. The first being the line that said, "You live inside yourself." You cannot live inside yourself, what the author means is that the person is kept to themselves, away from everyone. Also the part that says, "Doomed to argue with the heart and mind" you can't engage in a argument with your heart and mind, what the author is saying is that the person doesn't know if they should listen to their heart or mind. I'm pretty sure there are more forms of figurative language in this poem; this was just the few I pointed out to my likelihood.
I liked this poem, but it isn't as good as the other love struck ones I have read. It clearly defines how the author feels about leaving someone by comparing it to scents and facial expressions. I clearly like the passionate and affectionate poems because I like the way you make comparisons with the way someone feels. This poem is yet another great poem on your successful rap sheet, just not number one on my hot list.
I would have to disagree with “DVN Johnson”. I do not think this poem is a “wimpish” poem. The author boldly states how he feels about an individual and the memories he has left. This is good work, keep it up Mr. Donoso!
--Sarto, Block 2
“Introspection”
“I am with you, I am like you, I miss the same things, I breathe foolishly empty air, I smile also when I am sad, and I am alone.” When I read this line it made me feel as if the poet had felt like someone before. He had felt lonely and sad about the same things that someone else has before. He hates being hurt and he can hide with a smile. I also liked this line because maybe if he is feeling the same way as one person is, then he can connect with them and maybe start a friendship and know how they feel. I think the tone of the poem is lonely and sad. The poet is obviously telling how he feels about losing someone he loves and how he can only think about them and not get them out of his mind. "I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence of my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love." He feels as if he’s giving up and tired of chasing after something he misses because he knows that he probably won’t get the one he loves back no matter how hard he tries.
The figurative language in the poem is when he says that his smile is like a mask which is a metaphor because he’s saying that the mask is helping him hide things and the only thing he can hide it with is a smile so everyone thinks he is okay. Another figurative language is when he talked about how he compared the woman’s hair to the smell of red wine or vanilla ice cream. This was metaphor because he says that he misses the smell and that reminds him of her. In my opinion this is one of my favorite poems. I liked it a lot and I thought that I connected a lot to this poem because in the past I have felt the same way the poet has. I liked the way he talked about how he misses the person and how he misses the little things about how they smelled or how they did things. I liked it when he said how he can wear a “mask” and pretend he is happy because a lot of people today think that is the only way to get rid of problems but it is not.
Another positive thing about this poem was that he wasn’t alone. I feel like when your fighting something alone it’s very hard and when you have someone there feeling the same way that you are it can make things better and make you connect with the person even more. It also shows me that guys can be hurt in relationships and not only girls go through pain or hurt. I liked the way you expressed how you felt and it was just the all-around poem that made me like it. I had to definitely agree with Nicole because I agreed with what she said about guys expressing how they feel so deeply. It is true; guys think they are so macho and strong but in reality, they just hide their feelings because they don’t want to seem like a baby or wimpy. I also agreed with her because she’s my best friend and I love her, just kidding. But just like I said last week, I really enjoy your poems. Every week you have a new posting, I find myself talking about your poems a lot and I have learned that I have a huge interest and liking in poems with hard topics like about love and life. GOOD JOB MR.DONOSO!!!!!!!
Title: Introspection
First and foremost line I like the most was “I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love.” The line expressed the pain he goes through every time he remembers the girl and how much it hurts him to miss her. The poem is pretty much saying that he hides his suffering by putting on a smile, kind of lying to himself to make him appear and feel better, but in reality all it does is cause you more pain and without suffering there would be no compassion. This would then turn the world to a place with perfection.
The tone of the poem is kind of soft, like to girly for a guy. I agree with Nicole when she said that the tone was wimpish and I also agree with the fact that he is proving to her that he truly cares about this girl and anyways it’s true what so bad about a guy telling how they feel about a female? NOTHING! The poem really spoke out to me because a lot of people go through the same thing and we don’t even know it because we like to think about ourselves than we do to others. All in all, good poem Mr. Donoso your writing is better than that Silverstein guy =D
Title: Introspection
First and foremost line I like the most was “I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love.” The line expressed the pain he goes through every time he remembers the girl and how much it hurts him to miss her. The poem is pretty much saying that he hides his suffering by putting on a smile, kind of lying to himself to make him appear and feel better, but in reality all it does is cause you more pain and without suffering there would be no compassion. This would then turn the world to a place with perfection.
The tone of the poem is kind of soft, like to girly for a guy. I agree with Nicole when she said that the tone was wimpish and I also agree with the fact that he is proving to her that he truly cares about this girl and anyways it’s true what so bad about a guy telling how they feel about a female? NOTHING! The poem really spoke out to me because a lot of people go through the same thing and we don’t even know it because we like to think about ourselves than we do to others. All in all, good poem Mr. Donoso your writing is better than that Silverstein guy =D
“You and I often forget to listen,
you live inside yourself, doomed
to argue with the heart and mind,
leaving friends outside your wall.”
These lines first made me think of a woman being arrogant and stubborn, being in their own world, and not paying attention to any of what you are trying to say. But once I thought about the title, “Introspective”, I realized something about the “you” in the poem. This person is not actually another person, but it is your self who is the “you”. The heart and mind argue between each other often. The mind goes for the logic choice, but your heart longs for what you love. When Hearts and Minds clash, your heart often wins, but not without a good effort from the mind.
“I am tired of love, afraid of its
pain, overwhelming persistence
on my memory, fading pictures
of past bodies, hair, and love.”
These lines make the poem have a hopeless and reminiscence mood. With the first two lines, you make it seem like you are tired of loving that person, because every time you see them or hear their name, you think of all the love you two shared together. You miss that so much that it turns into a sort of anger. The second set of lines give the poem as a whole more of a reminiscent feel. If you remember their body, their hair, and how they loved you, you obviously loved them very much.
“I of this lonely naked body,
a puppet with the strings clipped.”
These lines are a metaphor. The puppet is yourself, and the strings are the love you had for this person. The strings used to tug at you, but now they don’t, because your puppet master is no longer there.
Yes, I like the poem. Even though I’m not a big fan of your poems usually, but I like this poem a great amount because I can relate to it. I went through a lot of the things you went through like getting your strings cut off from the puppet master. I agree with Greg C. when he said the last stanza ties the whole poem up as a whole.
Wow Mr. D! This poem is something else! At the beginning I could not figure out what it was your were speaking of, but then it started to slowly become clearer and clearer until the end you realize the whole poem is of you talking to yourself. I liked this poem from the first stanza,
"I know what you mean when you
tell me you miss having someone
next to you, the warm naked body
you think will never hurt you."
The part of this that grabbed my attention is the second part where you say the warm naked body you think will never hurt you, I cant help but think I know exactly what you mean (minus the naked part), I know how it feels to lye down with the one you love and hold them in your arms and think they will never be gone, they will never hurt you or leave you. I think this poem is full of great lines just like this one but is also filled with ones that don’t seem to have a place here such as.."filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream."
I understand your trying to convey how you desire the smell but to compare it to wine and ice cream doesn’t seem quite right to me. It changes the poems emotion.
One line I really liked that showed a great example of simile was “When you tell me you are happy
Without her, smiling like some mask,"
The simile compares you smiling when you are really unhappy to you wearing a mask to hide your true feelings. Keep up the good writing Mr. D.
Wow Mr. D! This poem is something else! At the beginning I could not figure out what it was your were speaking of, but then it started to slowly become clearer and clearer until the end you realize the whole poem is of you talking to yourself. I liked this poem from the first stanza,
"I know what you mean when you
tell me you miss having someone
next to you, the warm naked body
you think will never hurt you."
The part of this that grabbed my attention is the second part where you say the warm naked body you think will never hurt you, I cant help but think I know exactly what you mean (minus the naked part), I know how it feels to lye down with the one you love and hold them in your arms and think they will never be gone, they will never hurt you or leave you. I think this poem is full of great lines just like this one but is also filled with ones that don’t seem to have a place here such as.."filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream."
I understand your trying to convey how you desire the smell but to compare it to wine and ice cream doesn’t seem quite right to me. It changes the poems emotion.
One line I really liked that showed a great example of simile was “When you tell me you are happy
Without her, smiling like some mask,"
The simile compares you smiling when you are really unhappy to you wearing a mask to hide your true feelings. Keep up the good writing Mr. D.
In the poem, when the author says “you live inside yourself, doomed to argue with the heart and mind, leaving friends outside your wall” I think the person they are referring to is isolating them self from friends, and is in a deep struggle with what they want to do and what they should do. This metaphor describes a struggle within oneself, and how the person isn’t letting their friends know about what’s going on.
The stanza “I am tired of love, afraid of it’s pain, overwhelming persistence on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love” is one of my favorite, for I feel very connected to it. Love, while a very beautiful, happy thing when it’s in your life, but when it leaves it makes you feel like a plane on fire, doomed to spiral down till it hits the ground. The author captures true heartbreak here, reflecting on the memories you and a loved one shared together. I have personally been through this, unable to stop myself from thinking about every moment I shared with that person until I was finally able to push it all to the back of my mind.
I would like to comment on what Mickey said about how he feels that the line “like red wine or vanilla bean ice cream” doesn’t seem to fit in the poem. Instead of directly linking them to the small of her hair, I feel as though that the author is comparing the desire to have red wine or vanilla bean ice cream to his desire to smell his loves one’s hair.
Overall, I really like this poem, the author really captures the feeling of the longing and despair you feel after a break-up.
“When you tell me you are happy
without her, smiling like some mask,a puppet with the strings clipped,I know it is an act to protect you.”
When I read that stanza I had to read it again because it is so real. Once I have put on an act so others won’t notice I am feeling gloomy because I realized the person I liked very much could never be my friend for various reasons. When we hide our feelings it is to protect ourselves from the questions others will ask; those questions will make us think about what is painful to us, and who likes to think about something that hurts us? The victim wants to detach themselves from everyone else at times, which is like “leaving friends outside your wall.” However, it is wiser sometimes to let others know how you feel since they might be able to comfort you and you’ll feel as if 100 pounds have been taken off your exhausted shoulders.
The man in the poem is glum, and that is the tone of the poem throughout the majority of it. For example, the poet wrote, “When you tell me you feel sad, incomplete…I know what you must be feeling, contemplating.” He feels the pain of the other person (which, I think, is himself; he is just talking and thinking about himself) especially because he has lived through it. The man is nostalgic when he says: “I miss the same things…I am alone.” Definitely, the tone of the poem is somber.
I love what Matt says about the comparison in the second stanza: “The author is comparing the scent of a lover to the scent of vanilla been ice-cream and red wine. Both of the scents mentioned are pleasant to smell, but they are also something that we can indulge in. Both ice cream and red wine are luxuries that we enjoy, so a lover is like that fine wine that you have been saving for the perfect situation, and a lover is something that I love to embrace in just like ice-cream.” For those who like red wine or vanilla bean ice cream it becomes a pleasure to eat or drink it and it makes them feel comfortable, as if they were at home. They sometimes have strong cravings for them. Well, the man has a strong desire, craving, for the hair of his lover, which is like red wine or vanilla bean ice cream (a simile). But, I do disagree with Matt when he wrote that after reading the poem several times he came to the conclusion it was worth reading it. Right at the beginning I realized it was worth reading!! I didn’t have to read it over again to think the poem was valuable.
Just like other poems you have written Mr. D I feel that this poem is fantastic. Some people will relate to it because they have gone through heartbreaks as well and don’t want to admit they miss their beloved lover. Others will think, “That poem was written about me; I do live inside myself, doomed to argue with my heart and mind. I do feel/felt nostalgic when she/he weren’t with me anymore.” It is a great poem indeed.
Reading this poem makes me think of my other half and how I'm always missing him but yet sometimes I get so drained from the relationship because it's just to much. This poem also kind of seems like something I would say to a friend who's longing for that special person. In the first stanza it says,
"I know what you mean when you tell me you miss having someone next to you, the warm naked body you think will never hurt you."
In your tone I can imagine what it's really like to feel the one you love next to you, embracing you. It's just like Mickey Vasquez said in his comment about how he knows exactly how it feels to lie with the one you love and hold them. I know how it feels too and reading this poem makes me think about it so much more. There's nothing like loving someone and having them love you right back. It's so amazing, indescribable actually. Missing that feeling would be unbarable. I also liked the one stanza that said,
"I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistance on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love."
This is completely true, sometimes confusing but true. The confusing part is that even though people want that loving embrace and warmth, loving someone does get tiring. I understand completely when you say you're tired of love. Giving someone absolute, unconditional love, takes so much energy and risks. When you love someone, you're giving them your heart and trusting them with it. When I think back to Mickey's comment again he said that you were talking to yourself. I see where he's comiing from because I'm getting the vibe that you've been hurt and yet you still yearn for that touch. Love can be simple and then it can be complicated. It all depends on how you view your relationship, how much effort you put into it and how much you cherish it. If you are talking to yourself in the poem then you're right, you're not alone. Everyone goes through these types of emotions sometime throughout their life.
“I am with you, I am like you,
I miss the same things, I breathe
foolishly empty air, I smile also
when I am sad, I am alone.”
I think this line means the poet misses a friend who apparently was very much like him. When he smiles when hes sad, it means hes trying to hide his sadness that this friend is gone.
The tone of this poem is reflective. He misses his friend, and he speaks of how they feel the same emotions. Lines such as "When you tell me you feel sad,
incomplete, cheated of your favorite
thing, person, love, I know what
you must be feeling, contemplating", really explains what I mean. They are such good friends, they are basically the same person. So when they are separated, they are metaphorically missing a part of themselves.
“I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire
to smell the hair you loved so dearly,
like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.”
This is a simile because in actuality, hair obviously has nothing to do with red wine or vanilla ice cream. But to the poet, both have a sweet attractive aroma.
I agree with Greg C. when he says: " a puppet with the strings clipped,
I know it is an act to protect you." is figurative language. The poet is not speaking of a literal puppet having its strings cut. He is speaking of him and his friend being separated. Apparently his separation benefits the author's friend. I cannot understand how that can be, but it gives me something deep to think about.
I like this poem because of the deep messages buried in the metaphors and similes. It makes every reader, think.
“Introspection”
“…Foolishly empty air, I smile also
when I am sad, I am alone.”
These two lines were incredibly thought-provoking. It states, “I smile also when I am sad, I am alone.” I found unbelievable meaning in these particular lines. For example, some people, when they lose a special someone, are depressed and in horrible moods, they become pessimistic towards the world. On the other hand, as the poet states here, he smiles when he is sad or alone. I believe that he’s smiling because he wants to be an optimist; or perhaps, like many people, he doesn’t want to dwell on the fact that he’s alone. I take it that the poet is missing someone incredibly special to him, that he lost that person that he loved so dearly. As the saying goes, “Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Maybe the poet may have been smiling because he’s glad that him and that particular person shared great times together, and isn’t trying to be bothered by the fact they’re gone. This line inspired me, as it brings an optimistic tone to the poem.
The tone of this poem was a bit melancholy, for the poet was speaking about his loved one that has left his life. There is also an appreciative tone to this poem. The line, “To smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream” proves that the poet appreciated his beloved’s hair, as if the simple smell of it brought him into a different world. It shows that the poet misses the smell of his significant other’s hair, an aspect that’s barely important; this fact convoys how much the poet appreciates his loved one.
“I know what you must feel, right now,
alone, naked, filled with the desire…”
This line is an example of a metaphor. When a body is naked, it is missing clothes. I believe that when the poet speaks of a person who feels naked, the person is missing something or someone from his life. I’m guessing that the person feels incomplete, as if they lost the person who filled his life with joy, completed it.
Yes! I greatly admired this poem and all of its meanings. It was an incredible, thought-provoking poem. I believe I comprehended most of it, although it was uniquely interesting and deep. It made me think of a significant person in my life, relating to this poem as if I had lost that person. I’m sure many people can relate to what the poet is speaking about- losing someone you love dearly. It’s then that you truly appreciate who they really are, all the little things about them that made you dive into a whole new world of happiness.
I disagree with Anonymous when she says that the tone of the poem was quite pitiful and “wimpish”. On the contrary, I believe the speaker was a strong man, speaking to his friend about how it feels to lose someone you love so dearly. It takes guts to admit the intensity of feelings you have for a person, and it’s quite admirable when one does so. No one enjoys being solitary or depressed, but sometimes, as conveyed in this poem, it’s necessary to feel that feeling, especially when you’re missing someone so close to you.
“When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped, I know it is an act to protect you.” this stanza really caught my attention. I think people try really hard to hide what they really feel and that id what you are talking about here. When you are hurt by something you try to keep what you are feeling bottled up inside and wear some sort of “mask” around everyone because god forbid anyone know that you feel pain. I don’t understand why people see getting hurt almost as a weakness. People should have to put on some happy persona. Something or someone has hurt you, live up to it; don’t be afraid to show your human side. I’m not going to lie I try to bottle everything up but if I just let it all out I feel so much better, relieved. When my boyfriend died in a car accident I tried to make it seem like I was “strong” and it didn’t hurt but inside it was tearing me apart. When I finally let it all out, I broke down and just cried. I felt such awesome release. I didn’t feel like my pain was swallowing me whole anymore. My pain was no longer a “puppet master” controlling me.
I think the tone of this poem was empathetic. You were telling your friend that he was not the only one who feels pain and feels like hiding it. You let him know that it’s okay to let it out and that he has someone else that has felt what he has. You let him know he has a friend that is there for him and understands how he is feeling.
You used some very depictive similes to show how he was feeling. “Smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped,” is a great simile to show how he is trying to hide his feelings. “You live inside yourself, doomed to argue with the heart and mind, leaving friends outside your wall.” is an idiom that is saying he is holding everything inside having an internal conflict about his pain and not letting anyone else see it.
I really enjoyed reading this poem. It reminded me that there are people who understand how you feel and are there to listen and go through the pain with you. It’s good that you showed that you are there to support him and that he isn’t alone in the world, though, he feels like he is. I also like the descriptions you used. You definitely painted the picture of how your friend feels.
I agreed with bibi when they said “ I disagree with Anonymous when she says that the tone of the poem was quite pitiful and “wimpish”. On the contrary, I believe the speaker was a strong man, speaking to his friend about how it feels to lose someone you love so dearly. It takes guts to admit the intensity of feelings you have for a person, and it’s quite admirable when one does so” it does take a strong man to speak to a friend about pain when pain itself is hard to express and let out.
“When you tell me you are happy, without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped, I know it is an act to protect you.” When I read this line, it impacted me greatly. It made me feel like the poet understands how you feel when you’re alone, when you just come out of a relationship and you try to hide your feelings. It reminded me of a time when I got out of a relationship with this one girl that I had strong feelings for. I covered my feelings of pain and loneliness with a smile. My defense mechanism was to act as if nothing was wrong and that I was perfectly fine without her, even though deep down I knew this was a complete lie.
“I know what you must feel, right now, alone, naked.” These first few words of the poem led me to believe that the tone of the poem was a bit narcissistic. Once completely reading the entire poem, its pretty obvious that the poet is lonely. I agree with what the fourth person to comment your poem stated about the poem being gloomy. The poem does tend to shed towards the gloomy side but it’s also a bit weary. “When you tell me you feel sad, incomplete, cheated of your favorite thing, person, love, I know what you must be feeling, contemplating.” Here you can tell that the poet is weary of being lonely and of being heart-broken. But most of all, he’s weary of having to spend his days without that special someone. The tone is also a bit bitter because you can feel that the poet is not happy. He’s bitter at the fact of him being alone and having to cover the pain that he shouldn’t be feeling.
“I breathe foolishly empty air.” This line is an example of a personification. Air can’t actually be foolishly empty. The poet was trying to describe how simple air is and how it doesn’t change anything at all. “Filled with the desire to smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.” This is a perfect example of a simile. The poet is comparing his lover’s scent that he loved so much to the other things in life that he desires and likes. The poet loves wine and vanilla bean ice cream as much as he loved smelling his lover’s hair. I don’t think the poet was comparing his lover’s scent to wine or vanilla bean ice cream because I have smelled wine before and the fragrance isn’t too pleasing. This is a simile, not a metaphor (some of you have been fooled), because the poet uses the word like.
I actually loved this poem because it has this simplicity to it yet you can feel a mixture of complex emotions being expressed. It reminded me of the way I block pain and my way of shielding myself from the cruel feelings that love leaves behind. The poem had a twist that was indeed quite surprising. The reader would have never guessed that the poet was indeed talking to himself unless they read the entire poem. The words were not complex words, I did notice that, but the poet was able to express intimate feelings that couldn’t have been said better, even if the words were more intricate. This shows true talent that only a great poet like Mr. Donoso can conjure.
The lines “I am tired of love, afraid of its pain, overwhelming persistence
on my memory, fading pictures of past bodies, hair, and love” really touched me. These lines describe exactly the way I feel at this very moment. I recently today to be exact, broke up with my boyfriend after a year and a half and I am as the lines say “tired of love, afraid of its pain, and its overwhelming persistence on my memory.” Love is something that can be the greatest pleasure and happiness of them all, it can make you feel on top of the world but at the same time love is one of the greatest pains one can go through when it is lost. I grew tired of dealing with that pain so I let go but am now enduring the worst pain of them all. I’ve grown afraid of it and tired of having so many past thoughts on my mind. I think it’s very ironic how this is the first poem I read when I came on the site today and it really truly did touch me. As I read the poem it really made me sad. I found every line relatable to my situation and it brought some pain I was trying to avoid but it was a very nice poem.
The tone of the poem is longing for their loved one, sadness and heartbreak. The lines “I know what you mean when you tell me you miss having someone next to you, the warm naked body you think will never hurt you” shows the pain and sadness the person is feeling because they are reflecting on their past love and how they miss having them near believing they will never be hurt by them it also shows comprehension because the poet understands the pain people have or are going through now. The lines also show the longing for their loved one because they so how they miss having them next to them. The lines “When you tell me you feel sad, incomplete, cheated of your favorite thing, person, love, I know what you must be feeling, contemplating.” Show how sad the person is to have lost their love they express the different feelings they are experiencing.
The line “to smell the hair you loved so dearly, like red wine or vanilla bean ice-cream.” Is a simile because it is comparing the smell of the hair to red wine or vanilla ice cream using the word like. The line “without her, smiling like some mask, a puppet with the strings clipped” is also an example of a simile because its describing how when the other says he doesn’t need her with a smile it is like a mask to hide his true feelings.
I loved this poem although it made me very sad at the moment. I could relate with the entire poem and I think that relatable poems are always the best ones. I really liked it good job Mr.D =) personally my absolutely favorite lines were “When you tell me you feel sad, incomplete, cheated of your favorite thing, person, love, I know what you must be feeling, contemplating” because I don’t think there’s a better way to describe what I feel. I fell sad because he’s no longer mine, incomplete because he was a big part of my life, cheated of my favorite thing not only the love but the best friend I could always count and rely on, the person he is, and the love we once had.
I agree with the comment left by Nicole when she says “When you tell me you are happy without her, smiling like some mask. This made me realize you are talking to a friend. This is a poem sort of to describe your feelings to your friend. I think you are telling him that he is not alone. That you also feel the way he does and that if he needs someone to talk to.” I see how you could be talking to a friend maybe asking for some support. This must be a close friend because usually you only rely on close friends to be there for you during bad times and go talk to them for some advice or to feel better and get everything off your chest.
Mr.Donoso
These are some wonderful poems, i am proud to say that you are my English II Honor teacher for the 09/10 school year.
Renata
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