At Twilight
I don't know if the wind blew by us
faster than we did it,
but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head,
allowed me to look at you.
I wanted to speak,
tell you I felt lucky
because you were there,
but how could I interrupt
your silent gaze upon me,
the color of ocean blue,
staring deep into my dark brown eyes?
You smiled, I know you knew
how much I would forever love you.
We sat and enjoyed the silence
while secretly laughing at what never was said.
We let them continue driving,
allowed our hands to keep on kissing,
and when we arrived at wherever we were going,
it was with us, you and I, together
knowing all, saying love with twilight eyes.
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18 comments:
I must say I really liked this poem I thought that you were trying to explain the beauty of a silent moment with the one you love. When you said, “I wanted to speak, tell you I felt lucky because you were there, but how could I interrupt your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes?” was my favorite. I felt that you were trying to say that you felt like the luckiest guy in the world and that you wanted to tell her how much you cared about her, but looking into her ocean blue eyes just said it all. I really liked your tone is sounds like you were trying to be romantic also explain your love to this women by not saying a word. I really liked the figurative language. For example when you said her eyes were the color of ocean blue, and when you said that your hands were kissing I thought that what the cutest way to say that you were holding her hand. There are no comments before me so I really can’t comment on someone else’s comment, but if anyone were to say that this poem was bad I would have to comment theirs and tell them that they were out of their minds.
Also I would like to say, what a great way to start of a new quarter!
“At Twilight” Talar Dulaney
10/30/07 per. 2nd
This poem was not that interesting but it was very cute. This poem made me think about a person in love and that he or she enjoys being in love. The tome of this poem can be determined when you said “I don't know if the wind blew by us, faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you, said turn your head, allowed me to look at you.” From this I can pull that you are very happy that the “wind” or destiny made this wonderful person turn around and it sounds like it was love at first sight. The line I like most from this poem is “ We sat and enjoyed the silence, while secretly laughing at what never was said.” I can tell that the little things like sitting together and not saying anything is still enjoyable times with the person you like or even love. I also can determine from this is that actions speak louder than words so therefore sitting down in silence says “I love you” because it can show patience, and spending quality time v.s. saying “I love you” because a person might not mean it, because like I said actions speak louder than words.
The figurative language was a metaphor when the poet said “your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes?” you are comparing her eyes to ocean blue staring deep into the poets dark brown eyes. I also found a personification when it was said “allows our hands to keep on kissing.” It’s a personification because he is giving hands a human feature because hands can’t kiss unless they are so tightly together, well either way it wouldn’t make sense. There’s another personification when it was said “I don't know if the wind blew by us, faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you said turn your head,” It’s a personification because clouds don’t talk and tell people to turn their heads. All in all I really didn’t enjoy this poem at the beginning because it didn’t really make sense but when I started reading toward the middle and end and starting thinking about what the poet was trying to say than I understood it more. I agree with someone when she or he said that it’s a good poem to start off with the quarter and that the poem was really good. =)
Title: At Twilight
I like this poem because it show the connection between the two lover when you say “I don't know if the wind blew by us faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head, allowed me to look at you.” That even though they are a distance apart they’re able to show their love to each other without having to talk and that they love each other so much they don’t even have to say the phrase “I love you” to express their true feeling to each other. The figurative language was good to for example “your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue,” and “allowed our hands to keep on kissing,” which was a good way to say they were holding hands. Also there was some personification in this poem like when the wind whispered and when the hands kissed. The tone of this poem seems pretty romantic because they never talked to express their love. I also agree with someone when they said it was a good poem to start the quarter off with.
“We sat and enjoyed the silence while secretly laughing at what never was said.” This line made me think of people not saying anything but they still know what each other are thinking, probably something about how much they love each other. The tone of the poem would be loving and appreciative, like you said with “I wanted to speak, tell you I felt lucky because you were there.” You say that you love this person so much and that you feel so lucky that you are with her. A example of figurative language in the poem would be “Allowed our hands to keep on kissing…” This is a personification and this probably means that the hands were being held together so tightly that it seemed as the hands were kissing. Yes, l like the poem. I’m not really into all the romantic poems, but I like this one. I like it because you seem really sincere about everything you are saying about this girl you’re talking. I agree with Talar that the poem was kind of confusing at the beginning but got progressively clearer.
I liked this poem. It had a very warm feeling to it and I could picture the poet with his love one at twilight. Not having to speak a word at all to each other just gazing at each other and they both knew how much the other cared. It reminds me of true love. True love is such a wonderful gift rarely found. But once you find a true love not a puppy love or a lust or just liking someone for what they have, they should hold on to it. I agree with anonymous who said “that this poem shows the connection between the two lover when the poet says, “I don't know if the wind blew by us faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head, allowed me to look at you.”” The tone is loving when the poet said, “You smiled, I know you knew how much I would forever love you.” This statement is showing that words don’t even have to be said for the poet’s love to know that she is loved. Just a look from his dark brown eyes told her that he would always love her. When the poet said that the wind “whispered” to his love it is giving the wind personification. This is because the wind can’t talk so how could it whisper into someone’s ear to turn their head. The line “We sat and enjoyed the silence while secretly laughing at what never was said,” means that they enjoyed their quiet moment together. They both knew how much the other cared and laughed because they knew it wasn’t necessary to say it aloud. So many people spend their days searching for such a pure love and never finding it. I wish lucky to all those who have not found this love yet and hope they do.
I like this poem because of how eyes can show how much the poet love her eyes like the lines, “the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes?” can show how something simple can capture love. This is but one reason that the poet loves her because he wanted to speak to her but rather let the silence gaze do the talking and while together they let their hands kiss rather than the mouth. The poet is trying to express his love by actions rather than speaking to each other. The lines “I don't know if the wind blew by us
faster than we did it,
but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head,
allowed me to look at you.
is trying to say how the wind made the poet’s love turn around to let the poet see a glimpse of her beauty, mainly her ocean blue eyes that caught his attention. I agree with anonymous about how using other words to show that they are holding hands even though they are far apart but still maintain good contact. The tone of this poem is happiness because of how the poet meets this woman that he loves her for many qualities such as the silent gaze and the ocean blue eyes. The lines “You smiled, I know you knew
how much I would forever love you.”
is saying how a smile can tell many things and people usually smile when they are happy and want to be with that person.
At Twilight
“You smiled, I know you knew how much I would forever love you.”
In this line demonstrates love t first sight. When the author and the woman
stared each other in the eye they both knew that they were meant to be together.
I like this poem because it shows how two people can connect without words but just staring each other in the eye. The author used personification when he said, “I don't know if the wind blew by us faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you said turn your head.” The author is giving the wind the ability to whisper into the womans ear telling her to turn around.
I agree with anonymous because they were able to see the connection between the author and the woman without them having to say a word to each other.
At Twilight
"We sat and enjoyed the silence while secretly laughing at what never was said."
I believe this line is trying to show the love shared by two people. A bond so deep they can speak to each other with their eyes because their souls are so much in tune.This is a very loving and thankful poem. I believe the voice of the poem will always appreciate the bond he used to share with this woman. "I don't know if the wind blew by us faster than we did it,
but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head, allowed me to look at you." I believe this line is trying to personify the way the lovers met. They may have met in a crowd when the narrator saw her beautiful blue eyes and luckily she turned around and noticed him. I liked this poem because though it lacked structure it still carried about a particular flow to it. As if the emotion expressed made the poem.Anonymous said it well when he said that even though they are a distance apart they’re able to show their love to each other without having to talk and that they love each other so much they don’t even have to say the phrase “I love you” to express their true feeling to each other.
$.$tevens
This poem is about two lovers spending time together.
“We sat and enjoyed the silence
while secretly laughing at what never was said.”, just shows that words are not always needed for a good time. Also in the beginning he’s almost thanking the wind for blowing by her ears to get her to turn her head so their eyes can meet. I like this poem because it kind of reminds me of when I sit with my boyfriend, we don’t always speak; we’ll just have that moment of silence. How just by looking within his eyes I can tell that he cares. That we get so wrapped up in that moment, that all our problems seem to disappear and the rest of the world just rushes by.
The tone of the poem is happy; the poem shows us that they are happy together, holding hands and letting life go on without them. They are happy letting others go on by with their lives, while they just stay in that moment of their lives where all is alright, because they are together.
The line “but I was glad it whispered to you” is referring to the wind whispering, which is using personification, because wind can’t really whisper.
I agree with what someone (the first comment) said “…trying to explain the beauty of a silent moment with the one you love.” It is trying to explain the beauty in a moment of a silent moment with the one that you really care for. This poem does bring out that beauty, its not something that so easily explained to one that has not experienced it. They won’t understand how someone could enjoy a moment of silence, just sitting/standing there, with your love not doing anything.
At Twilight
“I wanted to speak, tell you I felt lucky because you were there, but
how could I interrupt your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes”? When I read this line I thought about how the guy is expressing his feelings to the woman and how he wants her to know that he felt lucky that she was there by his side. Also it shows that they are very deep with each other when both their eyes are locked on each other and they are just staring at one another. In the same line it expresses the tone of the poem which is appreciative of the woman he loves. “You smiled, I know you knew
how much I would forever love you”. This also talks about the tone. The guy feels happy and loved because the woman he has feelings for understands where he’s coming from and how he feels about her. This line also made me think of how girls and woman feel really happy when they know that someone cares so much about them and know that they feel like they are worth something.
“We let them continue driving, allowed our hands to keep on kissing”. This is a form of figurative language because your hands really can’t kiss but it is describing how when you hold hands really tight they seem like they are kissing. I did like this poem a lot but it was very sweet and romantic. It doesn’t take much for me to like romantic poems as long as it’s a happy one. I liked it also because it was expressing the man’s love for the woman. Also I liked how they used their eyes to communicate how they felt about each other. At first I wasn’t sure what the poem was about but as I continued reading I understood it. I agreed with Shawn when he said that the woman and guy didn’t have to talk in order to express their love. I thought they could use their eyes and see the real beauty of one another. I also agreed with Talar when she said that it was a good poem to start off the quarter with! =) Good Job Mr.Donoso!
"At Twilight"
"and when we arrived at wherever we were going,
it was with us, you and I, together
knowing all, saying love with twilight eyes." I think shows how much you care for her, you care for her so much that you don't care where you are going as long as its with her. The tone of this poem is caring and thankful because she is there for you and vice versa. Evidence of this is "I wanted to speak,
tell you I felt lucky
because you were there,
but how could I interrupt
your silent gaze upon me,
the color of ocean blue,
staring deep into my dark brown eyes? " Figurative language in this poem is "I don't know if the wind blew by us
faster than we did it,
but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head,", that is personification, since wind cant actually talk. I like this poem because it seems you really meant what you said. I also agree with crazygurl when she said "They both knew how much the other cared and laughed because they knew it wasn’t necessary to say it aloud."
~Greg C
Title: At Twilight
Line: … how could I interrupt your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes?… when we arrived at wherever we were going, it was with us, you and I, together knowing all, saying love with twilight eyes.
Why must I continue to get more of these blog assignments. Why must I be so pressured into saying that Mr. Donoso must be an eye guy, because I’ve never heard anyone metaphorically compare a woman’s eyes to the vibrant colors of a sunset. Yeah, yeah, I know a sunset is beautiful and all, but what about those other body qualities of a woman. Would you like a woman just for her eyes and nothing else. If true, that would make you sound a bit desperate, don’t you think? These lines that I have analyzed makes me want to be more of a strong silent type instead of having to halla Aye bay bay to every fine stack of hips. “…We sat and enjoyed the silence while secretly laughing at what never was said. We let them continue driving, allowed our hands to keep on kissing…”. I haven’t experienced that level of communication yet, but I would like too, starting, starting-now! The person in this poem was really thankful for a little breeze. Man, was he happy. “…but I was glad it whispered to you said turn your head…”. He must have been talking to the wind and stalking that woman. He probably told the wind to go over to her a smack her on the butt cheeks before it whispered something in her ear.
“I agree with someone when she or he said that it’s a good poem to start off with the quarter and that the poem was really good.” What a way to comment somebody’s blog. There should have been a higher amount of effort put into that part of Talar’s blog. But, seriously, I like the way Talar pointed out all the Figurative languages, because it helped me to be lazier and not study the poem like I always do. There’s nothing bad or poor about Talar’s blog, so I’m going to say that I admire thoroughness of the blog and I also like the poem. Especially with all the eye stuff and all the mushiness that the poet had put into the poem. K.I.R.!! (keep It Real, for all the slow people)
- D_V_N Johnson,
a.k.a. Not an eye guy
“We let them continue driving,
allowed our hands to keep on kissing,
and when we arrived at wherever we were going.” This line makes me think a lot of my boyfriend while were in the car with my parents, I truly agree with the way you feel Mr. Donoso when your in love and you care about someone so much that nothing else matters to you. Where are you going? “who cares” as long as your with that special person that’s all that matters and with the holding of hands you show affection towards one another you show that you truly care about this person that their hands are priceless like no others. Your tone reminds me of a child with that first unforgettable tingling feeling. The first time you actually feel butterflies in your stomach.” I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head,
allowed me to look at you.” This line also means a lot. Many times the God you believe in, in my case Jesus, he’ll work nature in ways that will benefit you. Most people may not know it but it is true in this line you are also using personification. You treat the wind as if it literally thought of to make her look into your eyes. The wind does not literally allow you to look at someone. I really enjoyed this poem it seems to me that your poems are becoming a more challenging to understand. I enjoy challenges and proving to myself that I can do anything. I fully agree with Karen when she mentions “Also I liked how they used their eyes to communicate how they felt about each other. At first I wasn’t sure what the poem was about but as I continued reading I understood it” I believe in communication in a relationship. IN my point of view communication and trust are the two most important major factors in a relationship. When I was younger and I would lie to my parents, my parents would always know if I was ling or not by looking into my eyes. They always told me to look at them when I was speaking to them. I now understand why my parents think that’s so important; when you look into your partners eyes you can truly feel love. Many people say love is a very complicated matter. I think the complete opposite, if you truly love someone things should work out, you must have faith. I also agree when Karen’s says she didn’t understand the poem at first. I was also pretty lost6 at the beginning but I soon caught on.
“We sat and enjoyed the silence”
First and foremost, I truly love this line and believe more people should consider silence as not an awkward situation but instead something that could be really beautiful. When I read this line I thought of all the times that silence has been nothing less than bliss. Then I thought of all the people who seem to fear the silence and always have to fill it with something stupid and meaningless. Less is more in these situations but I cannot exclude myself because I know there are times when I can be a little anxious between certain silences between certain people but I believe it is not to the point of annoyance (I hope). I have to tell you all these poems are making extremely curious about who in the world are you referring to? But besides that the poem is sweet and to the point with lines that make you smile. The kind of smile you use when you smile at the sweet little occurrences that happen throughout a normal day.
Tranquility best describes the tone I felt the poem gave off. When reading these lines I felt the tranquil of the poem the most. “We let them continue driving”, is showing me that you and the women were serene. “It was with us, you and I, together knowing all, saying love with twilight eyes.” In this line I feel that you feel, when together, you are free of agitation and disturbance which continues to add to the evidence that poem is quite tranquil.
In the line, “allowed our hands to keep on kissing,” I believe that was the figurative language that was used was personification because in a way humans kiss not really hands. Either way I liked this line because I thought it was cute like how puppy love is cute. In the third line of your poem it mentions the wind whispering to her. That is definitely personification. It also is a metaphor because when you say, “I don't know if the wind blew by us faster than we did it, but I was glad it whispered to you” , it is almost like saying I am glad fate or destiny, a force out of your control, brought your eyes to mine.
Yes, I did like this poem because it was about the joy of a beautiful silence. I thought it could have had more descriptive details about where you were at and what not but then again without having too many details it makes the poem seem more about her which works when she is the focus. Overall I enjoyed the topic very much and liked the metaphors like the one in lines one through three that I mentioned before in the last paragraph.
I must agree with Talor the poem doesn’t really live up to your other poems. Again I like your poems when they are filled with epic feelings. I still believe that poem is quite nice because like I stated before the topic is really something important. Understanding that silence is important sometimes and should not be filled with a voice is a higher level of thinking. People sometimes get this look as if saying, “Soooooo…what now?”, when no one in a group is talking but I just smile because I enjoy the look they give but also I enjoy it because we shouldn’t always have to say everything and silence is just as musical and telling as spoken words. Things should be implied and people should take a little time to think maybe I don’t have to ask a stupid question maybe I can think for a half a second and figure the answer out.
Poem: “At Twilight”
“We sat and enjoyed the silence
while secretly laughing at what never was said.”
I agree with the way “s” feels. People do seem to make silence awkward. They are able to be quiet for a few seconds, but that’s about it. After a while people start to giggle and laugh because it’s so quiet in their area. People find it really tough to keep to themselves while having to be quiet. In other words, they can’t “secretly laugh at what was never said.” They just do it out loud.
”I don't know if the wind blew by us
faster than we did it,
but I was glad it whispered to you
said turn your head,
allowed me to look at you.”
I noticed a personification in these lines. Wind can’t really whisper to people. What I think happened is that the person the narrator likes was probably annoyed by the wind blowing against her, so she turned around. The narrator was probably glad and appreciative of this coincidence caused by the wind.
I think the tone of the poem is appreciative. In the lines “I wanted to speak,
tell you I felt lucky because you were there,” the narrator shows how glad he was because he just saw the love of his life. He was grateful since the beginning of the poem because he described how good he felt ever since the wind cause the girl he likes to turn around and give him a chance to look at her.
I really liked reading this poem. It’s not everyday that a coincidence like the one in the beginning of the poem would cause the narrator to fall in love that quickly. My only problem is that I find it difficult to relate to love poems because I’m not really the loving type of person, and have never been in a relationship before.
I think that this poem was alright. It's not your best work, in my opinion, but I liked it because of the mood sets reserved tone that is happy with just being in the presence of one you love and I can relate to that. There was a lot of figurative language used throughout the poem like the wind whispering as personification, ocean blue and twilight eyes, and how the touching hands are kissing. I agree with Shawn when he says "I believe this line is trying to show the love shared by two people. A bond so deep they can speak to each other with their eyes because their souls are so much in tune." because I think that when two people love each other enough, you don't even need to speak to enjoy each other's company and spent time together.
“…but how could I interrupt your silent gaze upon me, the color of ocean blue, staring deep into my dark brown eyes?”
This line made me think of a book called “Twilight”. In this book, a girl who really liked this person often stared deep into the boys’ eyes and felt that his eyes were so beautiful that it put her in a dazed-like trance that would leave the girl speechless.
“You smiled, I know you knew how much I would forever love you.”
From this quote, I can determine that the tone of the poem is a person who apparently is in love with whoever their partner must be. Adding up to, having a feeling of love for that person forever.
“We let them continue driving, allowed our hands to keep on kissing,”
In this quote, there is a clear use of personification, when it says “… continue driving…” and “…our hands to keep on kissing…” I’m almost 100 percent sure the writer’s hands can’t kiss or drive, I’m also not certain about what he means either but I’m sure it has something to do with a connection like a touch or embrace of some sort.
I like this poem because it was a level higher then the other six I’ve read, I think this one is like a transfer from intermediate to expert, the author really seems to know what he’s talking about and it’s not something a teen would know about, I think this is grown man status.
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I agree with “Someone” because even though I didn’t pay much attention to that small detail, it is true that you are trying to explain the beauty of silence with someone you love and can clearly see that you learned this through experience.
I can relate a lot to this poem because to me, I felt that fate was involved in this poem and in my life. The fate came by when the wind in the poem came swooping by and made the girl in the poem turn her head and see the author. I myself had a different experience but in the end I was still able to find a girl that I could live with forever.
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