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Dream Sadness
I woke up today, involuntarily.
Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.
You who has no face, no name,
But loved me still, you.
I remember your hair
Like long strips of morning light
Pouring onto my head.
You let me lay there beside you,
Shivering for fear of loneliness,
Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too.
Your eyes struck me like the blue wind,
My blues, my baby blues,
Dark like the abyss that is my heart,
Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,
Engulfing me like memory.
Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain,
But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable
Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts!
What sound was it that made me flee from bliss?
Had I known it was but a dream
I would never have awoken
But rest inside you for always.
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22 comments:
First and for most I must say this yay I am 1st to comment yay. Ok now that, that is out of my system let’s get down to the real thing. I must say I liked this poem. It was easy to relate to the person telling this poem. How many times I was dreaming such a wonderful thing and had to wake up to see that it wasn’t there. Like the line that says, “Had I a choice I would have stayed with you,” meaning if the poet could have slept forever to stay with his love he would have. I have had a dream like this it wasn’t a love like the poet but a loved one. When my 1st grandma died I was stuck with horror. I had not known her well since she lived with my dad and my parents are divorced. For weeks after her death I dreamt about the few times I was with her. They seemed so real like she never left and in reality I always had to wake up to realize she was gone. It wasn’t till 2 months later that I realized I couldn’t go to sleep to escape the world to see her I had to wake up and keep moving. I could never image how it would feel like to lose someone you love like this poet but I know it be just as bad or even worst then losing a relative. There was a good simile in this poem that was, “I remember your hair like long strips of morning light.” This simile is comparing the poet’s love’s hair to strips of morning light. Giving the impression that she may have had long golden hair. The author’s tone is sad and missing. You know it is missing because the author wants to sleep forever if he could to be with his love. Who he always keeps in his heart which he can only see in his dreams; unreal and untouchable just gone. It is a very sad poem but very true. I bet everyone has had a time where they wanted to just sleep forever either to see a person they miss that is gone, or to escape reality. In the end we all must wake up to reality no matter how painful it maybe. There is no one else I can comment to hehe so I would agree with someone who would say you can’t use your dreams to escape reality. I know it is a hard thing to face but if you escape to a place where you shut the world out you miss a lot. You miss the moments that life is worth because your trying to escape the world. I am not saying to forget those loved ones gone but to keep them close and keep living your days. They wouldn’t have wanted you to stop living because they are gone, but to remember them and to be happy with your life.
This is the best poem from you that I've seen yet, though it has NO rhyme scheme what so ever, it does express your ideas that your lover was there for awhile and gone in a flash, I can see eye to eye with you about half way there with some of my relationships, but Id rather not talk about that, I dont think alot of my comments would be school appropriate. But I have a lover with out a face or a name too, though for me she is wisdom, while for you it is probibly a bride which is only in your daydreams that you've yet to meet in life, you would have to elaborate for me to be more certain though.
“Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,” This line made me think of how people see that they could have something great together but hesitate because they do not want to go that deep (no pun intended) . Some things you can’t see on the surface, but you must see the inside of somebody’s’ heart to see what they are feeling. The tone of the poem is very reminiscing and loving. You said that:” I remember your hair/Like long strips of morning light.” You used a simile to describe the person’s that you like (a woman?) hair as great as the first beams of sunlight through the window when you wake up. “Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too.” This figurative language is a personification, giving human qualities to non-human things. You are saying that the person you are talking about is naked and simple as clouds. Clouds just float there in the sky, and they are also peaceful, since they don’t attack people or anything like that. I do not like the poem. It was much unorganized, and didn’t really have a rhyme scheme. I agree with crazygurl when she said: “. In the end we all must wake up to reality no matter how painful it may be.” People must be aware of their problems and admit them. They can’t deny everything and hopes it turns out okay.
Title: Dream Sadness
Line: But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable
Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts!
What sound was it that made me flee from bliss?
Had I known it was but a dream
I would never have awoken
But rest inside you for always.
Ohhhhh Wheeee! Mr. Donoso, did you go to the strip club the night before or something? Because this FANTASY that you had is a little bit to perfect, you know what I mean! This women is just so bodily righteous, that I might even deicide to go to a strip club for the weekend! Mmmmm Mmmmmm!! I understand why you named this poem “Dream Sadness”. You go to sleep one lonely night, coming from the club, and you far fast asleep. That’s when that goddess of a dream shows up in your fantasies and grants your most pleasurable desires. I going to say that the two of you are by the ocean, on the grassy part of the beach, and it’s a little before day break. The sun has just peeked over the horizon and the two of you get closer together, to share the body heat of your naked bodies. Your fantasy girl suddenly looks at you and you look back, and at the same time, you notice her eyes look straight into yours, giving the sensation of a chill and peace “like the blue wind.” What a simile, comparing her gaze to blue winds which says that she probably had beautiful blue eyes. These emotions and exotic feelings not only gives you great relaxation and an infinite amount pleasure, but they also smack you across the face and stab you in the heart because, unfortunately, you are awaken by an unwanted disturbance. That dream was so good, it bit you back! I feel sorry for the person in this poem, really really sorry actually! He had his hopes up too high. They got so high, that maybe it hit a satellite and came crashing down. That’s probably what made all the noise. The person in this poem was so relaxed and hot in his dream, I bet that he was smiling in his sleep, showing all thirty-two teeth! “But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable; Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts! What sound was it that made me flee from bliss? Had I known it was but a dream; I would never have awoken; But rest inside you for always.” But at the end, he was somewhat emotionally destroyed because some kind of racket had awakened him from his fantastic slumber. Shooooot! I would’ve stayed too. Too bad that one can not escape from reality, because eventually, you’re going to wake up.
Right off the bat, crazygirl finally got me. I am greatly shocked and amazed at the effort she put in to get her comment blogged! I hope she enjoyed her moments of victory because this was the last blog. Ha Ha Haaa! Hee Hee Heeee! Back to bloggin’. For the longest, I agree with some of what crazygirl was saying, “In the end we all must wake up to reality no matter how painful it may be.” But sad to say, I must criticize, it’s my english nature! Although crazygirl’s perspective is based on her grandmother’s absence, it is kind of difficult to have a complete comparison between her nightmares and the poet’s fantasy or even Vis versa. Even though the conclusions are similar, the factors of their causes aren’t congruent. Crazygirl’s dreams are based from material love and affection, but the person in the poem, his dream was based on emotional needs and absences.
Signing off with a grin and sigh, D_V_N Johnson
Title: Dream Sadness
I woke up today, involuntarily.
Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.
Mr. Donoso I like this poem because in some ways I can relate to it, for example the first line day after day I too have to wake up involuntarily to go to school. It seems that the poet is unhappy because he wanted to stay with his loved one but had no say in the matter. Some figurative language I picked up was I remember your hair/Like long strips of morning light which is comparing the women hair to the sun rays in the morning when you open the window. I have to agree with ryan e. when he said “It was much unorganized, and didn’t really have a rhyme scheme.” This is because this is written without organization so it would be consider free verse.
I love this poem Mr. Donoso. It sounds like you had a great night. No but seriously I really enjoyed reading it. To me it sounds like you made love to a woman you love and now you have to leave, but you don’t want to. I really liked towards the middle of the poem when you said, “You let me lay there beside you, shivering fear of loneliness…”because no matter how true love can be there is times when you question the other persons feelings. I think that you are trying say you are happy that she lets you lay there beside her then you are in fear that she might leave. I really like your figurative language. For example when you compared her long hair to the strips of morning light I thought that was so cute. So for the figurative language I would probably have to agree with anonymous. That was the spot that stuck out the most to me.
Also I wanted to say I really enjoyed ready your blogs and posting comments. I think it is really cool that you express your feeling with the students like this.
Dream Sadness
“I woke up today, involuntarily. Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.”
I think the line above means that the author wishes that he wasn’t dreaming because he thought that he had found the one but came to realize that it was just a dream, the author realized that she was just a mysterious person that he made up that had all the qualities that he wants in a woman. While reading this poem I realized that the author used simile and personification in his poem when he said that “Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too.” The author compared his dream woman to a naked and peaceful cloud using as, the author also gave the cloud the ability to be peaceful.
I agree with agree with crazygurl when she said “. In the end we all must wake up to reality no matter how painful it may be.” Sometimes I have had dreams that I wished were true or that I can stay in that dream for eternity.
“I woke up today, involuntarily. Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.” When you say this in the first line it doesn’t make much sense. Until later as you continue to read it becomes clear. Like mentioned in sonnet thirty nine, love is something that you don’t need but yet people would die for it. It’s an unexplainable feeling. You show that by being in love with the girl of your dreams literally, you would rather stay asleep in order to stay with her and keep her by your side. You will always remember her from your dream. You fell so deep for her that you rather sleep dreaming of her then to be awake and without her. Your tone is very mellow and romantic for example when you say “Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain, But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable Never to be repeated” it is clear that you feel deprived and played as a fool. As if a dog was left in a cage with a piece of meat on the outside the dog would want something that he can’t have, like a tease. It shows how deep you feel for her and how much you wish she was real to touch and how great of a feeling it would be to hold her in your arms. Also that this dream will never come again you will never got a repeat of the girl you fell in love with. A good simile used in your poem was “Your eyes struck me like the blue wind.” Wind strikes you all the time and every time is unintentional and strong and powerful kind of like the struck of love that you felt when she looked into your eyes. She was unintentionally falling in love. Not only did she strike herself but also you. I loved this poem it is very hard to understand, it’s a challenge to understand. You must read line by line to get the idea and message. It also shows the immense ability love has to change your life and make you want something like you’ve never wanted anything before. I strongly agree with crazy girl when she says “They seemed so real like she never left and in reality I always had to wake up to realize she was gone.” Dreams bring you to believe things you really would like to happen in real life. dreams are very strong and can have a lot of meaning and some can also be like a tease like your poem but then again it shows the good in what your missing out on “love.” Then as you wake up you come to and epiphany that everything you experienced in your sleep was just a dream and most of the time you will feel let down.
((Great job Mr. Donoso! I loveeeedd it!))
Dream Sadness
"Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too."
I liked this line the best Mr. Donoso It shows how someone can see the real you and neither of you care. Its like she is seeing beyond the screen we put up in front of ourselves to hide a sensitive side and you know that the person loves you for you. I think it also displays the tone the wistful(bonus points I used a vocab word LOL) memory of a lost lover, that if you had a choice their side you would never leave."Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain" I enjoyed the personification and the hyperbole in this line. It is personification because your memories can't have a heart but if it did a person would live there.
The poem was phenomenal, I enjoyed the way that you used no form you just set your feelings free and let them flow wildly. I didn't agree with Everton when he said "the author wishes that he wasn’t dreaming because he thought that he had found the one but came to realize that it was just a dream, the author realized that she was just a mysterious person that he made up that had all the qualities that he wants in a woman" I think the woman is real and that she was so perfect that you compared your time together to a dream.
~$.$tevens
Assignment # 8
"I woke up today, involuntarily."
I wake up every day involuntarily, but this line says more then just laziness. Even though it captures my feeling toward every day of my life. Even during summer days when I can sleep for endless hours I never want to wake up. I enjoy dreaming, I can't remember the last time I went to bed and didn't dream. Dreaming is the biggest reason I like to sleep so much, and I guess that's pretty much why I enjoyed this line. I took so much more out of these five words then I did in the rest of the poem.
The tone of the poem is sad. I mean who wouldn't be sad after finally capturing your perfect fantasy in reality, only to wake up and realize that the fantasy was just that, a fantasy. It happens to me way more then I would like, but I guess it's time that I wake up and turn my fantasy into reality.
"Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us"
Well first off I want to say that this is one of my favorite lines you have ever written, it's so cool. Anyway this is an example of personification, the ocean can not wake up. It is just water, it doesn't go to sleep, therefore, it can not wake up.
Well I definitely liked the theme of the poem, and I did like two lines in this poem very much, but I'm not a very big fan of free verse. I mean I write free verse at times, and it can very artistic, but I have always seen it as an excuse for a poem because the author was too lazy to make it rhyme. This was probably not the case with this poem, but it still doesn't make me appreciate free verse very much, but poetry is the brain child of the author, so non the less it is a form of art.So in the end I didn't like the poem much, I loved parts of it, but I didn't like the poem as a whole. It just doesn't have the same intensity that most of your poetry has, it feels like it's missing something.
I agree with CrazyGurl when she said, "It was easy to relate to the person telling this poem. How many times I was dreaming such a wonderful thing and had to wake up to see that it wasn’t there."
I'm really getting tired of that happening, and it probably will happen again tonight, what can I do. I want so much that I can't have.
Dream Sadness
"What sound was it that made me flee from bliss?
Had I known it was but a dream
I would never have awoken
But rest inside you for always."
This line from the poem made me think of when I'm engaged in a good dream during a long
sleep, and then out of nowhere I'm woken up and all happiness is ruined. A lot of people can
relate to this feeling, it kinda compares to being in love and one day, all the love is taken away.
If I really knew that this happiness would come to an end I would of never woke up, after all no one wants to lose the feeling of being happy, especially losing it so fast.
The author wrote this poem with a sorrowful tone. "I woke up today, involuntarily.
Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.". The author starts off the poem with this line, he is pretty much saying that he didn't wake up on his will, if he had the choice of waking up he wouldn't because he admires being with this individual. The grieving tone pretty much follows through the end when the author says, "Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain, But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable, Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts! What sound was it that made me flee from bliss?". In this line he is saying that he will always remember the feeling of this happiness, but he will never let it happen again. He will never let the sensation of being so passionate and unreal get to his heart again, its nothing but agony to his heart.
The figurative language I have spotted in this poem was a personification when he says "Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too.". Clouds cannot be naked, they're just some kind of matter the floats in the high altitudes of the sky, they could pass as peaceful because clouds do not get in the way of anybody or anything. The author shows more personification when he says, "Your eyes struck me like the blue wind". Wind is not blue, let alone any color, wind is just oxygen thats unseen. The line; "I remember your hair, Like long strips of morning light" shows a simile because the author is comparing her hair to the bright morning light. Theres plenty similes in this poem for example when he says, "Dark like the abyss that is my heart" and "Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us".
This poem is Great! i enjoyed it more then all the other poems on the website. All the poems were good but I can really relate o this poem because this is something that has happened to me plenty times. I can relate to when the author expresses the girl through feelings because they have been times in my sleep when I'm dreaming and all of the sudden I fall or get injured, my body seems to twitch during my sleep as if I were awake. The author explains the way he feels through his similes really well.
I agree with "the coolest girl everrr" when she said, "Dreams bring you to believe things you really would like to happen in real life.". This is so true because dreams are based sometimes many fantasies or things people havent accomplished. People can experience something in a dream first hand before they actually experience it in real life. For example, like dreaming your like a millionaire but by the time you wake up your still a middle aged male with low income. The dream you had pretty much showed you how it feels top grow out of the stage of having a low income to being a millionaire.
This poem is awesome Mr. Donoso! Kudos to you and forever keep up the good work.
--Sarto Joli
--Block 2
Dream Sadness
“Had I known it was but a dream; I would never have awoken; But rest inside you for always.” This entire poem is very touching, however I feel this line displays the most love and compassion. Your comparison between your love and a dream is truly a great choice of words because a dream and love both are times in your life when you feel pure happiness. Waking up to your dream is always unwanted and difficult, just as is love.
I think the tone of this poem is definitely agonizing. Throughout the poem it is quite apparent that you are suffering with letting your lover go. When you said, “But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable,” you are saying how you are sad that your love for her will never be able to feel her love again.
This poem is loaded with figurative language. “Like long strips of morning light,” is an example of a simile in which you are comparing her blonde hair to the morning sun’s rays. “Dark like the abyss that is my heart,” is also considered a simile. However this time you are comparing the depth of your sadness to the depth of an abyss. “Had I known it was but a dream,” is considered a metaphor. This metaphor is comparing the dream to your love and awaking to your love ending.
I really like this poem! You always seem to find the perfect analogies to symbolize your true feelings. I love how you can always make the reader be able to understand your feelings completely. However, this poem is not my favorite. My personal opinion is that your previous ones were better; but this poem is still pretty amazing.
I also agree with Crazygurl when she said, “It was easy to relate to the person telling this poem. How many times I was dreaming such a wonderful thing and had to wake up to see that it wasn’t there." I simply hate the feeling of having a wonderful dream and suddenly it is ruined by the loud radio alarm.
This poem is about someone dreaming of a loved one. They miss them, and wish to be in bed with them. The line,
“Had I known it was but a dream
I would never have awoken
But rest inside you for always.”,
just shows that he knew it was a dream, but didn’t want to go. When people have good dreams but their bodies wake them up, they don’t like it so much; especially when the alarm is waking their bodies up and ruining a perfectly awesome dream. I think this poem is okay. I do agree with the feeling of waking up when dreaming about someone close to you, and not wanting to leave them, since you can only be with them within your dreams. The tone of this poem is loving and remembering older good times.
I agree with what Ryan E. said, the line “Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,” This line made me think of how people see that they could have something great together but hesitate because they do not want to go that deep (no pun intended) . Some things you can’t see on the surface, but you must see the inside of somebody’s’ heart to see what they are feeling. It makes sense, and it is true. Some people don’t want to get too far deep into a relationship, just so that if it ends, it won’t be such heartache. Also that you have to see within their heart to know how they truly feel about something/one.
Dream Sadness Talar Dulaney
This poem I really didn’t enjoy it as much as the sonnet, but overall it wasn’t a bad poem. I enjoyed the poem because it expressed one’s feeling about “lost love” and I feel many people can relate to this because many people had dreams that they loved and all of the sudden they wake and their happiness is gone. I also like this poem because it seems like the author just woke right up and started writing naturally like a “free verse” and I tend to like free verses more than rhyming poems.( The tone isn’t depressed lol) The tone of this poem can be determined in “Your eyes struck me like the blue wind, My blues, my baby blues, Dark like the abyss that is my heart,” because blues means a little sad or down and also you explained how your heart is dark and a dark heart can possible mean lonely or sad. Also I think any body in the right state of mind will be sad if they had an awesome dream and wakes up and never can retrieve that dream back people would be sad and a little mad. But in this case the title gave it away I mean “Dream “Sad”ness. This poem makes me think of a movie I watched when the dog was sleeping and had a dream he was chasing a bone and his owner woke him up 3 seconds before the dog can reach this bone. I think this relates to the author situation because he can be considered the “dog” and the “bone” and be the lady he’s fantasying over and by him waking up voluntary that can be his “owner”. In this poem you used a few figurative languages such as "Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too”, because since clouds can’t be naked that will be a personification because I don’t think they make cloud clothes. Also you used a simile “I remember your hair
like long strips of morning light” and you’re comparing her hair to strips of morning light this can mean either he hair is bright like the rays or everyday you wake up you think about her beautiful hair. The other simile the author used was “Dark like the abyss that is my heart, Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,” because your comparing the color of an abyss which is dark to your heart, that can mean your full of sorrow and the other simile was the author comparing the depth of the ocean to the lady and authors love. I really didn’t understand that one but I know it’s a simile. I agree with B re when she says “that you have to see within their heart to know how they truly feel about something/one, because the author can be in love with the girl in his dreams and she probably wouldn’t feel that same way about the author back and you just can’t go by them saying words like “ I love you” and what not because anyone can say I love you but it takes a true person that’s in love with you to show how much the care because actions speak louder than words
“Dream Sadness”
“Had I known it was but a dream I would never have awoken but rest inside you for always.” When I read this line it seemed like that was the main point of the whole poem. It is about someone having a dream of still being with their loved one and still cherishing all the moments they had together. The line also explains how they want the dream to keep continuing and they don’t want the person to ever leave them. “You let me lay there beside you, shivering for fear of loneliness”, in this line I think it describes the poem’s tone because it seems to me like the person wants to be with the one they love because they are scared or sad of being lonely and not having anyone to be there with. In the line “Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too”, you used personification because in reality clouds can’t really be naked because they don’t wear clothes. Also clouds don’t have feelings so they couldn’t be peaceful. Another part of figurative language I saw was when you used the line “Your eyes struck me like the blue wind”. Wind isn’t the color blue, actually it isn’t any color. It is just invisible like air. In my opinion I liked the poem. It had very good word choice and also details when you came to describing things like her eyes and how that person will always be in your heart no matter what. Sometimes when I sleep and dream, it seems like a true reality and sometimes I find myself thinking if it could actually happen. Also I think when you used the line “Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain”; it talks about how you could ever forget a person and how hard it is to let them go. I agree when Ryan said that we must always wake up to reality and face the truth because if we keep lying to ourselves we aren’t doing anything but leading our minds on and making us believe something that might not even happen. Also when he said that people should face their problems because when you keep avoiding them, they could get worse and not resolve anything. Good job Mr.Donoso! I am looking forward to the next poems next quarter! :]
“Dream Sadness”
“I woke up today, involuntarily.
Had I a choice I would have stayed with you.”
This first line of this quote caught my attention, and when I began to read it, I thought it was about going to school. Everyday I have to wake up for school at 5 o’ clock, and it is very hard to do so every morning. I know I have to wake up in order to make it there by 7. So, I can relate to waking up involuntarily.
“You who has no face, no name,
But loved me still, you.”
The tone of this poem is reminiscent. The author is thinking back over the past, very similar to the tone in previous poems.
There is a lot of figurative language in this poem.
“I remember your hair
Like long strips of morning light”
This is a simile comparing hair to morning light. Light from the sun is usually a bright yellow color, so I can assume that the subject of the poem is blonde.
“Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too”
I do not believe that clouds are “naked” in anyway, but there is a comparison here made by “as”, so there is another simile. Clouds are peaceful though, and this is the perfect way to describe a young lady.
“Your eyes struck me like the blue wind,
My blues, my baby blues”
I am certain that wind is colorless, so I do not fully understand this comparison, but it is made with “like”, so another simile!
“Dark like the abyss that is my heart,
Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,
Engulfing me like memory.”
Similes dominate this poem, and make it interesting, because I love comparisons. Here, the author is comparing the subject’s eyes with an abyss, and the ocean. Also, the eyes are compared to memory.
I like this poem because it is easy to comprehend, but it is not easy to relate to. I do not know much about sleeping next to people and never awaking.
I agree with Ozzyismymusicpoeismypoetry when they said, “it has NO rhyme scheme what so ever”. I am usually partial towards to poems that rhyme because they flow smoothly. I would say that great imagery such as “But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable
Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts!” can make up for the lack of rhyme scheme.
Waking up for a very good dream isn’t very peaceful but at the same time it makes you feel more relaxed. That is one of the few things the mind will do to everyone, they will cause those memories to return at some point and make us feel bad or worse. We cannot expect life to be grand, which everything can be like a dream, just that you don’t wake up from it no matter how bad it seems. The lines, But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable
Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts!
Is saying how a person from a dream can really crush your hopes and able to make it into a reality… Still this is why it is hard to find the one that is right for you since it is hard to tell, with everything going on today and how the sentence “I love you” gets thrown around so much. By using dreams to escape from reality, there will be much more pain rather than facing the truth right there and getting pass the pain rather delay everything. I agree with Crazygurl about how she says you will always wake up from the dreams, no matter how good they are or how painful it is in reality. The tone is pain and longing for the person who he is reminiscing about in his dreams, but woke up to bad reality and know that she wasn’t there but in his dreams he didn’t know that. Which is why he didn’t want to wake up after he found out that he was dreaming about his love.
“Dream Sadness”
Nice poem Mr.Donoso. "Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain,
But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable" This line means she is always with you but only in memory. The tone of this is remeniscant; evidence is "Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain,
But sadly not perfect, forever unreal, and untouchable
Never to be repeated. Oh agony to hearts!" Figurative language is "Naked as clouds, yet as peaceful too," it means that you and your lover are peaceful and calm and in sync. I overall like this poem because it seems like it meant something to you. I also agree with Crazygurl when she says the dreams will never be complete and you will always wake up from them.
Greg C
Dream Sadness
Dang Mr.Donoso this is deep! This poem really captured me …….
The lines “Had I a choice
I would have stayed with you.
You who has no face, no name,
But loved me still, you” I think are very sweet to me it brings out the beauty in the poem to show that although this was merely a dream it was more than that. You begin these lines by giving the reader the impression that you are talking about an actual tangible person, then as we read on we can pick up the idea that this isn’t a real person but just someone dear In your dream. You use a lot of figurative language such as similes, metaphors, and personification. The one that I like the best is “Dark like the abyss that is my heart,
Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,
Engulfing me like memory.
Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain,” You first use a simile but comparing the feeling in your heart to darkness to show the sadness you feel as you wake up from this dream just to see that it wasn’t real, you go on to use another simile comparing the oceans dept to the dept of sadness that is felt as you long to be back beside the one in your dreams side. Finally you make a personification giving the word memory human like characteristics by saying that in memories heart the one who is dreamt of will always remains. This goes to say that although the feeling that was felt were all just a dream and eventually reality kicked in this person will always remain with you not physically but the memory of them will continue to linger with you. That Is why I think Dream Sadness was such a fitting title. I agree with Greg when he says that the tone of this is reminiscent; evidence is "Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain” this is true as you reminisce upon the memory of that one in your dream. This truly is a beautiful poem and I like how you didn’t not come out and tell the point you were trying to get across instead you used your poetic skills and get into the mind of the reader nice job!
Dream Sadness
Dang Mr.Donoso this is deep! This poem really captured me …….
The lines “Had I a choice
I would have stayed with you.
You who has no face, no name,
But loved me still, you” I think are very sweet to me it brings out the beauty in the poem to show that although this was merely a dream it was more than that. You begin these lines by giving the reader the impression that you are talking about an actual tangible person, then as we read on we can pick up the idea that this isn’t a real person but just someone dear In your dream. You use a lot of figurative language such as similes, metaphors, and personification. The one that I like the best is “Dark like the abyss that is my heart,
Deep like the ocean’s awakening between us,
Engulfing me like memory.
Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain,” You first use a simile but comparing the feeling in your heart to darkness to show the sadness you feel as you wake up from this dream just to see that it wasn’t real, you go on to use another simile comparing the oceans dept to the dept of sadness that is felt as you long to be back beside the one in your dreams side. Finally you make a personification giving the word memory human like characteristics by saying that in memories heart the one who is dreamt of will always remains. This goes to say that although the feeling that was felt were all just a dream and eventually reality kicked in this person will always remain with you not physically but the memory of them will continue to linger with you. That Is why I think Dream Sadness was such a fitting title. I agree with Greg when he says that the tone of this is reminiscent; evidence is "Now forever in memory’s heart will you remain” this is true as you reminisce upon the memory of that one in your dream. This truly is a beautiful poem and I like how you didn’t not come out and tell the point you were trying to get across instead you used your poetic skills and get into the mind of the reader nice job!
This poem was one of those poems that you could read and, whether or not you like poetry, you can feel the passion in the lines. I have had countless dreams myself that I can recall where I never wanted to wake up. Instead, I wished I could just stay dreaming forever. I think of the times when I was lonely, just wishing someone could come and fill the little gap in my heart where I had reserved for someone special. Dreams are temporary fillings for the gaps in people’s hearts but it all comes down to what you make of yourself and how much you are willing to give up in order to find and stay with that one special person.
Dream Sadness
"You let me lay there beside you,
Shivering for fear of loneliness,"
When I read these lines it made me think of how I would feel if I didn't have someone by my side. I'm serioulsy scared to be alone and to not have someone to catch me if I fall. This poem sounds like someone is either scared to loose. going to loose, or is loosing a very close person. I say this because the writer is saying how everything is only a memory now.
"I remember your hair
Like long strips of morning light
Pouring onto my head."
The figurative language here is a simlie because it's comparing the golden blonde hair ( I'm assuming it's blonde ) rested on a bed to the morning rays beaming on a bed. The tone of this poem is longing. I think this because it seems like the writer and the lover never want to leave leave one another and they're yearning for each others embrace. I agree with the annoymous comment above me posted on April 17. This person said how you can feel the passion in the lines and it's true. This person also reminded me of those dreams that are so good and real that when you wake up in the middle of it you try to hurry and fall back asleep to finish it. It never actually happens but it's always worth a try. That's kind of how this poem is. I like it because in the poem the writer is in a dream and wants to stay there but then towards the middle things start to drift apart as if the person is waking up. This is how the writer looses that person, because of waking up. All that's left is what is remembered. The writer makes it seem that he would've never woken up if he knew the dream was going to end. That's what makes it so romantic.
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