In Our Mouths, Happiness
I want to kiss you softly,
like laying down a shadow
upon the patient green grass
just before a romantic picnic.
My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you,
like gentle strokes of wind
carefully caressing the clouds.
I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.
I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.
One tiny drop of our souls
we drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand;
I cleanse you or maybe you do me,
but we come out clean, innocent.
We vanish into one kiss.
If I could write the perfection
that is hidden inside your heart,
which you so generously shared
with someone I once thought,
was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy,
then I would make a million smiles,
because a feeling like that,
a taste so titillating,
one must blush because they know
that is just how good it is to be happy.
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Title: In Our Mouths, Happiness
Line: I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give, thankful that every breath means one more taste of you.
Mr. Donoso, you are a freak, man! Whoa! Seriously, what were you feeling when you was writing this poem. Either way, it’s still great and this line that I chose, shows the most interesting part of the poem, to me. As you probably already know, I also like to write poetry that expresses the human heart and the ways that it is effected by strong emotions of desire! I feel that when a person gets to that point of life, they never want to come back to reality, or to the problems of the regular, plain, ordinary world. I think that this line that I chose is a powerful metaphor representing the red velvet bond between the poet and his lover. Thank God that it’s about a women, right?! Only a woman can have such caress for a person such as yourself. It seems to me, Mr. Donoso, that we are poets with many similarities, speaking of intimacy and desire. However, you have more experience in life than I do, don’t you? Surely you have more of a life than a fifteen year old boy with many female connections.
In conclusion to this, I agree with any commenter who says that life is like a bowl of cherries, and grapes, and juicy slices of pineapple. Or to be more specific, Mr. Donoso is very intimate, and so are his poems!
-D_V_N Johnson
In Our Mouths, Happiness
“My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you,
like gentle strokes of wind
carefully caressing the clouds.” This is a very good simile it shows the romance in your tone of voice. I really like this poem it is very loving and it shows that guys do too have sensitive sides. haha. Keep up the great work! Xoxo.
-nico
Jose Vilca
Mr. Donoso
09/18/07
Honors Homework # 4
In our mouths, Happiness
“I want to catch your lips with mine and trap them with my tongue. One tiny drop of our souls we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand”
Mr. Donoso, this poem is so intense, but it’s a good poem, very romantic, and loving, it sounds like the character really loves the women in the poem. I like that 2nd sentence line up top because it compares their kiss to tsunamis on warm sand.
I really enjoy reading your poems because you have such a passion in writing and putting many deep meaning in them. I agree part with what Anonymous said on the first comment because he gives you on the first lines that you really feel in the writing you wrote in. It’s all good Mr. Donoso keep up the good work!!!
In Our Mouths, Happiness
“I want to kiss you softly, like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass just before a romantic picnic.”
Wow! Wow! Mr. Donoso you’ve done it again, every time I think that your poetry couldn’t possibly get any better it gets better. What is there to say? I mean this poem was one that will echo throughout the minds of all who read it thought out the ages.
In the above line I believe that the writer’s tone is complete relaxation. I believe that when this was written the writer was in a completely peaceful state of mind. When I first read this line I was quick to notice the personification or when the writer gave the grass the capacity to be patient. I liked this poem mainly because it is written in clear concise words that are easy to follow.
p.s I agree with what D_V_N Johnson said you are a freak. what were you feeling when you wrote this poem? :-)
Comment on In Our Mouths, Happiness
Mr. Donoso I really think that you are a very romantic person. I enjoyed this poem very much specially the line:
”My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you,
like gentle strokes of wind
carefully caressing the clouds.”
I think that this simile is very nice and romantic and it shows that when you touch that person you do it softly and with such care that it can compare to the wind touching the clouds, because the clouds are so gentle therefore the wind can’t be too strong when touching it. I think that the first comment from anonymous is completely wrong because you are not a freak you are just very romantic, sweet , and you are not afraid to express your feelings.
“In Our Mouths, Happiness”
“My hands are only as patient as they need be with you, like gentle strokes of wind carefully caressing the clouds.”
Wow. Hmm. Can u say freak? The following line is just dreamy. Something you would here in a women’s dream or fantasy. This poem so far has been one of the most intimate ones yet. I only wish guys my age would write like this, boy would I fall in love. The way you describe the way the poet feels about his lover is just amazingly beautiful. The metaphors put into this are passionate and affectionate. Such as, “One tiny drop of our souls we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand; I cleanse you or maybe you do me, but we come out clean, innocent.”
Words like these can steal anybody’s heart. The emotions put into this can really show through almost every line possible. I loved the poem as I said before I wish someone were to write like this to me…I’m sure any girl will. I strongly agree with D_V_N Johnson about the strong emotions running through the poets mind, but I would also like to know…What exactly was going through your mind when you write this?
p.s- i better get a better grade i actually took time to read and think about the poem =]
In Your Mouths, Happiness
"I want to breathe when you do' inhale all of what you give"
Great Poem Mr. Donoso, I especially liked the line above. The line really brought to life the connection between two lovers both mentally and physically. The tone of this poem was somewhat difficult for me to decipher but i believe it is loving and appreciative. For example you said "If I could write the perfection that is hidden inside your heart,
which you so generously shared
with someone I once thought,
was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy" led me to believe this. You used a multiple amount of figurative language in this poem but one stood out to me was "One tiny drop of our souls we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand." You used phenomenal imagery in this line and I think it was trying to bring to light the importance of something as small as a kiss. I liked this poem because of the great imagery you used. I agree with Stephanie when she said "Words like these can steal anybody’s heart. The emotions put into this can really show through almost every line possible."
~$.$tevens
I liked this poem because it puts what most people just do everyday into poetry. I mean I bet people who have made out with more than 3 people would never stop and think what kissing really is. By that I mean the people who kiss passionately and the people who kiss just because they believe it is fun or out of boredom. Or why people even started such a thing as kissing. Once again it became a light term we use everyday like love. A good example of someone who is passionate is the line “I want to kiss you softly, like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass just before a romantic picnic.” This line is a simile comparing a soft kiss to how soft green grass would be on romantic picnic. The tone of this poem is love. You can tell the author is describing how a kiss is to him .I agree with Jose Vilca the character does really loves the women in the poem. He is describing a simple thing as a kiss as something that makes 2 people into one. Like having a true a soul mate, that 1 out of a million people who is perfect for you. The author is very passionate about this woman it isn’t about lust it is about love. A majority of the time relationships aren’t about love but lust as much as I hate to admit. Yes there are a like 10% percent who truly love the person but the rest aren’t. A very sad thing in our society today, that we have bent a twisted things that are suppose to be special and moments to remember, to normal everyday functions. Like using things lightly such as love, kissing, hate, loath, sad, depressed and plenty of other words that we lost the true meanings of. I mean these terms mean so much more than we give them credit. How people can say to a person an “I love you” or “I hate you.” Do they honestly know what they are saying or even mean it? There are some terms that I wish we would learn the true meanings of again. Before we twist them even more to the point where our future generations will say, “I love you” like they are saying hi to someone everyday.
In Our Mouths, Happiness
“My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you,
like gentle strokes of wind
carefully caressing the clouds.”
This is a very good simile it shows the romance in your tone of voice. I really like this poem it is very loving and it shows that guys do too have sensitive sides, the reason I say this is due to the sentence you used stating, “I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.” This sentence shows that u live happier with this special person in your life. You need this person in order to live better. I also agree with Steffy ...words like these can steal anybody’s heart. It’s good to be a girl and see that there are men in this world who can care about a girl as much as we do. It is also nice to know that guys can get very attached and it’s not only us girls who will always end up looking like fools in the end. Your words are very touching Mr. Donoso they help me understand the meaning of love from a guys perspective. Keep up the great work! Xoxo.
-nico
TITLE: In our mouths, Happiness
“We drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand”
Mr.Donoso I really like this poem because of the way you expressed your feeling and your desire for your lover. I pick those lines above of they way you compare your kiss to her like tsunamis in warm sand. I also like the way to think of her and want to be with her. I like the way you use your metaphor for example
“One tiny drop of our souls we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand; I cleanse you or maybe you do me, but we come out clean, innocent”. I really like what Stephanie said about how words can steal someone’s heart.
Title: In our mouths, Happiness
My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you,
like gentle strokes of wind
carefully caressing the clouds.
I liked this poem because it show how much the poet loves the women by saying things like the lines above that show that the poet can be as gentle as the wind caressing the clouds. This shows me that he can be very gentle because if the wind is to strong the clouds break apart. This poem uses a romantic tone. “I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give, thankful that every breath means one more taste of you.” These lines show me he much he loves he because he cherishes every moment of it.
I agree with crazygurl that only about 10% of people actually truly love a person.
In Our Mouths, Happiness
”I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.”
This line says that you want to be very close to this person, and you even want your breath to be synchronized with theirs.
I think the tone here is anticipation because there are multiple lines that begin with, “I want to…” The author is probably anticipations and anxious, and perhaps thinks they have a chance to do these things with this person.
The author of this poem uses many similes such as, “My hands are only as patient
as they need be with you, like gentle strokes of wind” and “we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand”
I like this poem for the similes and wordplay. I do not like the way the author talks about this person, because it gets to be almost creepy. “Thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.” Does this person know this? I surely hope not, because I speak for everyone when I say, no one wants to be inhaled, or tasted.
I agree with Dieumer when he said that it is easy to notice the personification right away.
It is possible that the author is writing about anything, and not limited to a human (minus the kissing parts).
In Our Mouths, Happiness
Nice poem Mr. Donoso. It was very intense. Anyway, to start off “I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.”
I think this is a fancy way of you telling us that you love this woman so much that you want to do one of the more intimate things couples can do besides sex, a french kiss. I think this poem is using a very romantic tone. I think this because of “I want to kiss you softly,
like laying down a shadow
upon the patient green grass
just before a romantic picnic.” An example of figurative language is “If I could write the perfection
that is hidden inside your heart,
which you so generously shared
with someone I once thought,
was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy,
then I would make a million smiles,
because a feeling like that,
a taste so titillating.” I think this means that you thought yourself unworthy for love and when you met her it made you feel so happy you “made a million smiles.” I like this poem, because of all the good figurative language. I agree with crazygurl, that not a lot of people actually mean they love someone.
-Greg C.
Mr. Donoso,
Wow, I must have been sitting here at my computer for like an hour! Trying to figuare out what to say that might be [appropriate] enough for this comment, and this is what I have came up with:
The line that stuck with me when reading this poem was when you said:
“I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.
I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.”
Wow, [I like it when you call me big poppa] haha.
Ok, ok. This popped out to me because not only is it romantic but, it symbolizes that this person means a lot to you and when kissing this person it’s like your very infatuated with them.
You have so much passion for them.
Overall to sum up your whole poem, your very happy when you get passionate
with this person and as you say:
“I would make a million smiles,
because a feeling like that,
a taste so titillating,
one must blush because they know
that is just how good it is to be happy.”
Kudos!
-O’Connor [That amazing kidd] psh. Don’t lie.
In our Mouths, Happiness
Sheriece :-)
“I want to kiss you softly,
like laying down a shadow
upon the patient green grass
just before a romantic picnic.”
Whoa there Mr. Donoso I must say that these opening lines drew in my attention a lot it makes me say ahh that’s so sweet and thoughtful. I can predict that this poem will be one of love and admiration telling by the choice of words you have used to create a calm and sweet tone. In these same lines I notice that you use a simile by saying “I want to kiss you softly,
Like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass………..” This line compares kissing someone softly with laying down a shadow upon the grass before a picnic.
After reading this poem I realize that it wasn’t so much based on the poet love or admiration for the person he is writing about but it’s the feeling of happiness that can be felt when with this person and for that I really like this poem. It brings to your realization that because of your love and fondness of this person evokes a emotion which you say is “a taste most titillating” and in the end one can only say yes Mr. Donoso you are so right it feels good to be happy. I agree with any blogger who commented on how much of an intense man you are [FREAK] lol Ya #1 Student ~Sheriece~
Mr. Donoso,
“I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give.” This line made me think of when a girl thinks of you as doing everything together and the guy treasuring every word of what she is saying. The tone of the poem would be loving. An example of the tone would be “My hands are only as patient as they need be with you, like gentle strokes of wind carefully caressing the clouds.” From how you are describing this person it makes it seem like you really love them. “Like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass…” . I think this would be a personification because you are giving a human quality to a non-human thing, grass. I don’t like the poem that much because it seems that you are going into the stalker zone with this kind of stuff. Creepy. Anyways, I agree with Greg , he said that you have an intense love for this person and it really shows in your poem.
In Our Mouths, Happiness
This poem discusses a love that so many of us have yet to understand. It says, “If I could write the perfection that is hidden inside your heart, which you so generously shared with someone I once thought, was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy, then I would make a million smiles, because a feeling like that, a taste so titillating, one must blush because they know that is just how good it is to be happy.” A love in which changes your complete outlook on life is a goal many of us search years for. This person truly sounds like your one true soul mate. While reading this, I knew it was really love because being able to give someone these passionate feelings don’t come often. Being in high school, I see girls that have a new boyfriend every week and yet somehow manage to call it love. I’ve met ones that, even after breaking up, don’t know their ex-lover’s last name. This poem shows what love is all about. I think some of the girls in my classes should read this masterpiece. The tone of this poem is definitely dreamy. Throughout the poem the author compares his work to the beach, which to me is a very calm and dreamy place. I can simply imagine the lustful actions taking place with the same motion as the beach’s waves. In the poem it states, “I cleanse you or maybe you do me, but we come out clean, innocent.” This line captures the depth of your love. It signifies that when the poet is with his love that the entire world seems to have nothing wrong. All the bad mistakes and evilness of the world completely disappear. I loved this poem because the beach portrays so much peace and beauty as did the image of love. I agree with Greg when he stated, “You have an intense love for this person and it really shows in your poem.” The love for this being simply couldn’t be anymore obvious.
In Our Mouths, Happiness
“I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath means one more taste of you.”
This line “I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath means one more taste of you”, shows the authors level of adoration, and wants to cherish every moment.
I think the tone of the poem is passion and admiration. The line “I want to kiss you softly like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass just before a romantic picnic suggests personification because you are giving the grass the ability to be patient and to enjoy romance.
I like the poem because it gives the reader something to think about.
I agree with Alan when he said that no one wants to be inhaled or tasted.
“In Our Mouths, Happiness”
When I read this poem I think of a man in love with this woman. It shows that he is so interested in her and cares about her so much. It makes me feel happy because I know that there are guys out there that actually feel that way about women. When I read this , I thought the tone of it was romantic and loving. When you said “If I could write the perfection that is hidden inside your heart, which you so generously shared with someone I once thought, was destined to be lonely and forever unworthy, then I would make a million smiles, because a feeling like that, a taste so titillating, one must blush because they know that is just how good it is to be happy.”, I thought this was the perfect example of someone being lonely and not picturing themselves with anyone but then they find the one they love and they are so happy with them and it brings smile to their faces and they couldn’t be happier. Also when you said “we drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand; I thought you were comparing your kisses with this woman to the waves on the warm sand. I really liked this poem and it’s one of my favorites. I really liked the figurative language and it went into so much detail about loving someone. I also agree with Stephanie and Nicole because it is true that words can steal a person’s heart which makes you fall fast for that person and it makes you feel like they really about you and want to be with you. Another thing I agree with is that us girls can actually see the perspective on how much a guy has feelings for that person because guys aren’t the type that like expressing their emotions. Every girl would love to hear any of these cute and loving words and make them feel worthy. Keep up the good work & I'm looking forward to read more romantic poems =)
-Karen Black: Block 2
Title: "In Our Mouths, Happiness"
Line: "I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you."
This line in the poem really shows how the author feels when he kisses the woman. he feels like he wants to embrace his self in her kiss and be thankful of it like it was his last.
This poem has a very passionate and caring tone but at the same time it has anticipating tone because the author talked about how he wants to be with this woman for example when he says, "I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue."
"If I could write the perfection that is hidden inside your heart, which you so generously shared with someone I once thought,
was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy,
then I would make a million smiles,
because a feeling like that,
a taste so titillating,
one must blush because they know
that is just how good it is to be happy."
This line in the poem expresses the tone to me because it shows how perfect the woman is to him and how if he had her he would make a million smiles.
The figurative language in this poem was really good. It gets into so much detail about how this person wants to feel by comparing actions to nature for example when he says "we drip into each others' mouths like tsunamis on the warm sand", he's comparing how he wants to kiss her like waves running across the sand.
This was a really good poem. It shows a really detailed way of expressing ones feeling towards another. It really captivates the reader with the comparisons.
I agree with Stephanie because words can capture someones heart and this poem speaks with a lot of emotion
Sarto Joli
Block 2
“ In Our Mouths, Happiness”
When I first started reading I noticed a use of figurative language which was a simile “I want to kiss you softly, like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass . . . ” and a metaphor “My hands are only as patient as they need be with you, like gentle strokes of wind carefully caressing the clouds.” The tone of this poem is very calm and passionate because of some of the words you used such as. We vanish into one kiss or a taste so titillating and those are very passionate words, or at least how your putting them together. The line that caught my attention was
“I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give, thankful that every breath means one more taste of you.” It made me feel that the character is in love with his partner kisses and very much in love, this makes me feel that the character enjoys kissing that one person because threw out this poem that’s all it’s about. I enjoyed this poem because it was passionate and the use of words coming together made the poem have a little bit more emotion. And I also think toward the end of the poem the tone becomes more caring. I disagree with Stephanie because I don’t think its poem in freaky or weird like I said I think it’s very passionate and caring and showing a lot of emotion for a person.
“ In Our Mouths, Happiness”
When I first started reading I noticed a use of figurative language which was a simile “I want to kiss you softly, like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass . . . ” and a metaphor “My hands are only as patient as they need be with you, like gentle strokes of wind carefully caressing the clouds.” The tone of this poem is very calm and passionate because of some of the words you used such as. We vanish into one kiss or a taste so titillating and those are very passionate words, or at least how your putting them together. The line that caught my attention was
“I want to breathe when you do, inhale all of what you give, thankful that every breath means one more taste of you.” It made me feel that the character is in love with his partner kisses and very much in love, this makes me feel that the character enjoys kissing that one person because threw out this poem that’s all it’s about. I enjoyed this poem because it was passionate and the use of words coming together made the poem have a little bit more emotion. And I also think toward the end of the poem the tone becomes more caring. I disagree with Stephanie because I don’t think its poem in freaky or weird like I said I think it’s very passionate and caring and showing a lot of emotion for a person.
After reading the first few sentences I realized the tone is happiness and love. By all of the word choice and comparing what the poet is doing to nature, which in this case, shows kindness and compassionate. This poem really creates an image for your mind and how sound and sight as if you were there to feel the scenery. The lines, “We vanish into one kiss.
If I could write the perfection
that is hidden inside your heart,
which you so generously shared
with someone I once thought,
was destined to be lonely
and forever unworthy,”
Shows how the poet really loves this person so much that the poet forgot about his first love and thought of that person was unworthy and cannot find a person to be with. To me I don’t really like these lines because they show envy because that person must have done something so mean to have the poet or vice versa that one of them left the other person. I agree with Crazygurl about how people misuse “I love you” because those words are empty unless it is backed up with evidence either through words like your poem or in actions. I like this poem because of all the images I see by reading this poem and I think that it’s great since not all people can show real life images in words but you done great.
Mr. Donoso I really enjoyed reading this poem. When I was really the lovely words to this poem I was smiling the whole time. I really liked when you said I want to catch your lips with mine. I have never seen a man put himself out there like this. I think it is really cool that you are expressing your feelings like this. Usually guys don’t think about this stuff they just say, “oh yea I kissed her.” I think it’s really cool how you not only remember the kiss, but you remember how it happened and what kind of day it was. This poem shows that a kiss is just not anything. A kiss can mean everything to someone. Also the tone in this poem you seem really happy and loved, and I know exactly how that feels. You feel like at that moment nothing can go wrong. More importantly this poem not only talks about the kiss but it talks about the setting. I like Bryan’s comment it was everything I thought the poem was I totally agree with him. I think this is a great poem and a kiss is not just a kiss.
Mr. Donoso I really enjoyed reading this poem. When I was really the lovely words to this poem I was smiling the whole time. I really liked when you said,
“I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.
One tiny drop of our souls
we drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand;”
I have never seen a man put himself out there like this. I think it is really cool that you are expressing your feelings like this. Usually guys don’t think about this stuff they just say, “oh yea I kissed her.” I think it is really cool how you not only remember the kiss, but you remember how it happened and what kind of day it was. This poem shows that a kiss is just not anything; a kiss can mean everything to someone. Also the tone in this poem you seem really happy and loved, and I know exactly how that feels. You feel like at that moment nothing can go wrong. I love this poem so much I think it is because I can relate to it.
Mr. Donoso I can really relate to any poem you talk about love or a relationship. I know everyone says that that teenagers are too young to even know what love is, but were not. I absolutely hate when people say that I am too young to know what love is. Anyways back to the poem, on Bryan’s comment I would have to agree and disagree. I agree when he says that the tone of the poem is love and happiness, but I don’t agree when he says that the lines of the poem show envy. I think that this poem is talking about a kiss that is not just a kiss it’s a kiss that will last a life time.
Mr. Donoso I really enjoyed reading this poem. When I was really the lovely words to this poem I was smiling the whole time. I really liked when you said,
“I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.
One tiny drop of our souls
we drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand;”
I have never seen a man put himself out there like this. I think it is really cool that you are expressing your feelings like this. Usually guys don’t think about this stuff they just say, “oh yea I kissed her.” I think it is really cool how you not only remember the kiss, but you remember how it happened and what kind of day it was. This poem shows that a kiss is just not anything; a kiss can mean everything to someone. Also the tone in this poem you seem really happy and loved, and I know exactly how that feels. You feel like at that moment nothing can go wrong. I love this poem so much I think it is because I can relate to it.
Mr. Donoso I can really relate to any poem you talk about love or a relationship. I know everyone says that that teenagers are too young to even know what love is, but were not. I absolutely hate when people say that I am too young to know what love is. Anyways back to the poem, on Bryan’s comment I would have to agree and disagree. I agree when he says that the tone of the poem is love and happiness, but I don’t agree when he says that the lines of the poem show envy. I think that this poem is talking about a kiss that is not just a kiss it’s a kiss that will last a life time.
RealReaderStraightUpG
In Our Mouths, Happiness
“I want to catch your lips with mine
and trap them with my tongue.”
This line made me think of hunters, it made me think about a hunt someone was on and when they caught that prey or target they were looking for they trapped it and didn’t let go.
“I want to breathe when you do,
inhale all of what you give,
thankful that every breath
means one more taste of you.”
The tone of the poem is a thankful person who apparently loves the person they are talking about as it states “thankful that every breath means one more taste of you” the writer absolutely loves their partner.
“One tiny drop of our souls
we drip into each others' mouths
like tsunamis on the warm sand;”
In this quote the poet is clearly using a simile when he says “we drip… like tsunamis…” he doesn’t mean that literally as in he’s really dripping but instead mean that they have a physical connection.
I like this poem but not nearly as close as the others, I think too sensual and maybe needed a little less description.
I agree with “It's someone i didnt like the last one” because it’s true you do describe the kiss as a once in a lifetime thing, and you did state it in a cocky way or at least that’s what I think.
This poem made me think of all the times I was happy and who I was happy with as well as those I wish I could be happy with. This poem was so rich with details that its like you can almost feel the passion the man has for the woman in the poem. Also, the amount of similes and metaphors in the poem make it that much easier to understand this man's love for the woman.
“If I could write the perfection that is hidden inside your heart, which you so generously shared with someone I once thought, was destined to be lonely and forever unworthy, then I would make a million smiles, because a feeling like that, a taste so titillating, one must blush because they know that is just how good it is to be happy.” This is the kind of sentence almost every girl wants to hear from her boyfriend. This sentence is my favorite sentence in this whole poem because it is coming from the bottom of your heart and it is describing the unconditional feeling you have for this girl and how happy you feel with her. This sentence moves me to tears because I know that this is true love.
“I want to kiss you softly, like laying down a shadow upon the patient green grass just before a romantic picnic.” To me this simile means you want to be in love with this woman forever, have the feeling you get when you are with her forever. You just want to kiss her because you love her so much and stay in that moment forever or for right now.
“Words like these can steal anybody’s heart. The emotions put into this can really show through almost every line possible.” I totally agree with Stephanie C. because I feel the same way. The words and sentences you use in this poem can “steal someone’s heart”. Like I said before almost every girl wants to hear a poem like this, if someone (specifically a boyfriend) wrote me a poem like this I would cry because it is so beautiful and touching.
All in all I think this poem is beautiful, plain out beautiful, I want a copy of this poem. I love romance and this poem is the epitome of love and romance. I understand and feel the tone of this poem. Keep writing beautiful, heartfelt poems like this.
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